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A LONG Chapter, 65-66

Two weeks ago when I posted Chapter 65 on AO3 and FF.net, I said the ever-fateful words, “66 is practically done so I’ll be posting that real quick.”

Can’t believe there isn’t some giant “BULLSHIT” sign over my head.

Chapter 66 took ages.  Two weeks to piece together when it ought to have just been an easy write.  Things weren’t working in the beginning of the chapter, and I had to get that finished so I could write the end of the chapter.  I was tired or busy on my days off work and sometimes only put in an hour or two before I was so frustrated I just had to do something else.  Even this afternoon, I was getting so sick of rereading it, I was about to just post it in whatever rough state I could manage.

In the end, I pushed through it and got it written out.  I took an hour away and watched part of the Hobbit, then came back and rearranged some stuff.  I took a dinner break and watched a few episodes of Psych and came back to do final edits.  By the final readthrough, I was actually happy with it.  Possibly because I realized just how long the chapter is, just around 4900 words, which is a gigantic chapter for this story.  That is a lot of words to get right all at once, and an awful lot of words to reread over and over.

It also didn’t help that I was jonesing for a vacation, and even yesterday I had miserable vacation brain where I just couldn’t remember shit.  So today, first day of vacation, I made tacos and beat my chapter into submission.  

Now I must go attend to my other writing goals.  I want to finish at least two of the four or so Sherlock things I’ve got in the works right now.  Regency Sherlock will not be one of them, I’m sure, but hopefully Huntsman (which has been on hiatus for two months, god, I’m sorry) and Gambling John which has yet to be posted since I want to finish more (all) of it before I inflict it upon the world.

Anyway, Chapters 65 and 66, since they’re as long as about three chapters or more together anyway:

(warning for m/m smut on 66, though from what I gather, that’s more of an attraction than a deterrent, heh)

Chapter 65

 

John paced slowly near the driver, who had not yet provided himself with a word in his own defense even as Sherlock and one of the constables asked him question after question.  Sherlock wasn’t as familiar to the constables this side of the Thames, although his reputation certainly did precede him.  John was certain this was the only reason they’d been taken at their word.  To a complete neophyte, it certainly would seem more likely that the two gentlemen had been interrupted in the process of abducting an innocent hackney driver.  John was armed, after all, a fact he couldn’t hide given the shot that had attracted the attention of the watch and the ball in the brain of the dog inside the warehouse.

Sherlock explained in a flat voice that the trussed-up man was the same man who had attacked him several nights previous.  He left out that he had known precisely who the driver of their carriage was, but made much about the man’s attack on and subsequent subdual by John.  Around the point of the tale in which he’d been accosted by the guard dog, Sherlock stalked off and John took over to calmly explain the laboratory within the warehouse, the unknown chemicals, the morbid scent in the air.

A few minutes later, John caught a glimpse of Sherlock crouched down as if peering at the cobblestones, the tails of his jacket becoming dirtied with muck from the street.  John wasn’t sure if he ought to walk over there or allow Sherlock some well-deserved peace.  In the end, he let him be and kept an eye on him in case his husband showed signs of the panic he’d experienced inside the warehouse.

John continued to pace, keeping an eye on Sherlock’s still form as two more constables sauntered onto the scene.  The marks on his temple and chin were finally beginning to ache, the exhilaration of the fight wearing away.  Tomorrow morning, perhaps even tonight, he’d ache sharply.  It was completely worth it.  For the first time in a long time, he would deserve his aches and pains.  He’d earned them, rather than had them thrust upon him.  Perhaps he wouldn’t feel so utterly glad about it in the morning, but for now he relished the twinges when he blotted the cut on his temple or bent the knee on his bad leg just a little too far. 

A bold constable had fetched a lantern and went inside with his handkerchief folded over his nose and mouth, while others circled the building and opened boarded-up entrances at John’s suggestion that the building be may need to be cleared of dangerous gases.  The first constable, a young man with more brash than brawn, returned to the doorway requesting assistance and a crowbar or hook to pry open some suspicious crates.

Sherlock’s head popped up as someone jogged past with a flat metal bar that might do the job.  He abruptly stood and followed after those compelled to investigate.

When he walked past, John said, “Sherlock, perhaps we ought to leave this to the constabulary.”  What John really wanted to say was, Sherlock, you don’t have to go back in there to prove anything to me, but he didn’t. 

“John, if you think I’m going to leave this investigation in the hands of untrained, uneducated louts, you are an unconscionable idiot.”  Sherlock ducked back into the warehouse.

John could see Sherlock pausing by the body of the dog through the door, but he could not see his face as he walked in a full circle around it, examining it in detail.

“You’ve got this, yes?” John said to the constable who had given up on trying to get the prisoner to speak and was now simply guarding him until such time as he could be transported away from the scene.  John didn’t wait for an answer but limped straight back into the warehouse himself.  

In the light streaming from several doors, including one large enough to drive a wagon through, the dog on the floor was hardly the monstrous thing Sherlock had started to describe.  It was a beefy thing, brindled, and low to the ground with a wide mouth and plenty of sharp teeth, bred to harry bulls at market.  It had probably been a rather stalwart guard, but John could only wonder exactly what Sherlock had seen and heard as the beast loudly and aggressively advanced.

The temperature inside the building had dropped enough that John judged the air fit for human consumption.  Besides, there was no way to know if Sherlock had ingested something from one of the vials on the worktop instead.  As long as everyone, including Sherlock, kept a sane thought in their heads, John would deem it safe.

Two constables had made quick work of determining the contents of half a dozen boxes.  The crates, the ones John could see lining the walls in stacks three or four high, were filled with bodies.  Or, more accurately, body parts.  The men grimly continued their work, undaunted, for they had many times seen corpses in their line of work and gossip brought increasingly lurid stories of the last days and weeks with their morbid discoveries.  Sherlock glanced in each crate, no doubt filing away each revelation to later puzzle into a complete body.

A flurry of swearing deeper in the building sent Sherlock and several constables after the sound.  John moved as quickly as he could after the other men, past a wall slapped up between roof supports, only to see a corpse smoking from a dozen contact points with bare wires, flailing, eyes rolling, tongue lolling and finally sitting up before disengaging several of the wires and thudding back onto its marble slab.  It continued to twitch, but much less violently. 

The vast machine spouting wires was familiar to John, though this one was much larger and housed half a dozen crackling, spinning wheels.  It was like von Marum’s electrostatic generator at the Professor’s, though this improved machine may be capable of creating vastly more electricity than its predecessor.  Everyone, even Sherlock, had stopped in gut-wrenching awe, jaws dropped open at the sparking, whirring machine.

“He must have recently been here!” Sherlock declared, recovering first.  “This experiment could not have been abandoned long else the corpse would be nothing but char.  John and I blocked off one exit with our arrival, but there must have been another which was not boarded over.”

Sherlock dashed towards the back of the building.

“John, hurry, I have need of you!”

John trotted along after with one last glance at the hideous construction of wires and brass, spurred by the urgency in Sherlock’s voice.

“John, look around, tell me what you see.”

They emerged on a slightly busier street than Baskerville Road, but it was still mainly wagon traffic as opposed to foot.  Few that passed would give a second look to the warehouse, much less investigate with any curiosity.

“I’m not sure what you want me to say, Sherlock,” John hedged.  He didn’t see anything that Sherlock could not see.  “No one is running away.  There is another warehouse across the street, but the entrance on this street is closed…”

“No, John, you see but you do not observe,” Sherlock huffed.

“Well, what should I be looking for?”

“Details, John.  Our scientist likely escaped from this door within minutes of our arrival.  Where would he go?  Down the street?  Into another building?  Did he have a horse waiting?  A carriage?  I cannot trust my eyes right now.”  Sherlock sounded a bit frantic, prompting John to try his hardest.

“If I hit this door at a run and did not have a carriage waiting for me, I would want to get out of the line of sight as soon as possible.  I’d go that way,” John pointed down the street, “and down around that building to disappear from sight.”

“Good, John.  Useless, but good.”  Sherlock tapped his fingertips together and hummed.

“If you know better, Sherlock, then why did you ask?”

“I need your eyes, John, to confirm what I’m seeing.”  Sherlock tugged John a dozen feet.  “Now, do tell me if you see this rut here, or this pile of droppings?  Do you see it steaming?”

“Yes, Sherlock, so what?”  The streets of London were covered with the stuff.

“Well, our scientist is clearly an educated man, and education takes wealth.  A wealthy man, were he to enter this section of London at all, would certainly ensconce himself in a small carriage, perhaps one deliberately dilapidated to help conceal his identity.  A phaeton would attract too much notice, but a simple chaise or curricle would suit his purposes.  These ruts are freshly cut into the muck, and the manure is still steaming in the cold air from a recently present horse.  Given the relative placement of these two clues, it was likely a single horse, not a pair, so a chaise.  Clearly our quarry drove in that direction.  It is useless to try and follow as he would easily blend in with the traffic heading towards London Bridge.”

John saw all these things as Sherlock pointed them out, verified them even, but he’d never have drawn the conclusions that Sherlock wove around the facts. 

“Astounding,” he breathed.  John imagined he saw Sherlock’s lips nearly flutter into a smile, but he whipped around too soon.

“I don’t believe the scientist meant for us to find him here, or he wouldn’t have escaped.  Quite intriguing.  Has the driver said anything?”

“Not a word.”

“Fascinating.  I wonder if he can speak, or if such functions of the brain have been lost.”  Sherlock led John back inside the building to where the constables were still gaping at the massive contraption and the slightly twitching body attached to it.  Sherlock darted around it for a minute and suddenly shut it down, much to the relief of the simple parish constables unused to such spectacle.  Sherlock began to peer closely at the body and plucked away all the wires so as to absolutely confirm the failure of this experiment.  He brought John in close to confirm that the heart did not beat within the chest.  John checked the body with professionalism, though the condition of the body made it clear that he’d find no signs of life.

It surprisingly took less than an hour for the building to be flooded with constables and several runners from Bow Street, Lestrade included.  Donovan, and a contingent of river police, stopped by to gawk, as well.  Despite his fellows’ toughened natures, Donovan was the only one to walk into the building and still have the gall left in his belly to open his bloody mouth.

“Mr. Holmes, did you get tired of your toys, or did you just wish for someone else to clean up after you?”

“Tiresome, Donovan, all my doing, not a real criminal, et cetera, how utterly blasé.  Have you been unable to realize the truth by now?  I’m amazed they make a hat for a skull so thick.”

“Ah, I see, Holmes, you’re showing off for that pretty husband of yours.  Fresh and milk-fed, isn’t he?  Don’t worry.  Me and my men will be glad to make sure he’s not lonely after you’ve been hauled to the top of the scaffold.”

Though he knew that Donovan’s remarks were just to provoke him and would never come to pass, Sherlock jerked towards him, his hands curled into fists.  But John stepped up from behind him, unimposing with his gun in a constable’s custody and his cane taking some of the weight of his steps.

“I’ve grappled with a dead man already once today, Mr. Donovan,” John offered in a steely tone.  “Care to make it two?”

Donovan raised an eyebrow and sneered at John, who was a head and a half shorter and considerably narrower.

“Don’t worry, little man, I like my men to limp afterwards…”

Donovan wasn’t expecting the blurry fist that connected with his nose, though he ought to have done considering how many times it had been broken before.  The force was enough to send him to the ground.  Before he could blink away the tears that blurred his vision, (he let the blood flow freely down his chin and onto his shirt,) Lestrade wedged himself between them.

“Sergeant Donovan, if you and your men are not going to be helpful, I believe you have patrols to return to.  I’ve got enough to do without holding a rag to your face as if you were a snot-nosed brat.  Get your arse back down to the docks and if you don’t want blood in it, keep your mouth shut.”

Donovan grumbled as he picked himself up, but did as he was told with little more than a glare in Sherlock and John’s direction.  John ignored it, wrapping his much-abused handkerchief around his bruised knuckles with enough of a smirk on his lips to make Donovan growl.

Morning turned to afternoon before the investigation turned methodical.  Lestrade took control and sent one of his compatriots to track down the current owner of the building and two others to find and question any possible witnesses about any notable comings and goings on Baskerville Street.  He ordered the local constables to take inventories, mark each crate with chalk indicating the contents, but to remove nothing.  Here was as good a place as any to store the remains for now.  Plus, despite calling upon half the constables of London (regular criminals were going to have a field day) he would like to keep this quiet as long as possible.  Lestrade strode through the building with Sherlock and John, finally witnessing the failed experiment and the giant electrostatic generator.

He peered up at it with a certain mystification.

“What does it do?”

“It creates an electrical charge.”

“Why?”

Sherlock was at odds to answer this.  “Why?  Because the human body, our very personal universe, demands investigation just like any other mystery.  The amount of knowledge we lack in this field is mind-boggling.  What we learn could extend our lives, cure infirmity and disease!  Imagine if we could instill life in a fresh corpse by harnessing the mysteries of electricity.  You could simply ask the murdered about their murderer.”  Sherlock sounded far too excited about this possibility for someone who would have far fewer puzzles to solve if this became the case.

“I believe some mysteries ought to stay just that, Holmes.”  Lestrade was looking at the body on the slab, the one that had ceased to twitch when Sherlock shut down the machine.  “You were inside the building for a period of several minutes and didn’t see anyone?”

“No.”  There was little else to say, and Sherlock’s demeanor dampened with the change in subject.  He’d informed John as the constables were arriving that he did not wish for them to know about the hallucinations, and John had kept to his word, being deliberately vague on the subject.

Lestrade grunted, peering at the corpse with narrowed eyes and a close lantern.  Sherlock ignored him and stalked about taking in every bit of information he could.  John tried to be helpful, looking for any sort of records the scientist might have kept, but found nothing of use.

“The experiments have been going on for some time,” Sherlock began.  “The man responsible is quite advanced in his work.  He has improved upon the generator here, and here, compared to the Professor’s model, do you remember, John?  I wonder if the thickness or metallurgical content of the wires makes a difference; it must.  I believe these augmentations may allow for a more intense burst of electricity…”

Lestrade interrupted him.  “This is all very fascinating, but we need to know about the culprit.  I haven’t even gotten the final number of bodies yet, but this is likely the same man who has been leaving you gifts all over London and I’ll like to put a stop to this!”  His voice had risen quickly until he shouted the final three words.

Sherlock was unfazed and simply responded, “Yes.”  Then he began pointing out the marks in the sand-strewn floor that had not been trodden over by constables, blown into miniscule dunes by the crosswinds that cooled the enclosed air, nor made by Sherlock himself as he circled close to the machine.

“Two men, one with a slightly slurred step, which could be our driver – we really need to find a name to call him now that he’s in custody – Lazarus might be appropriate, don’t you think – and another with a smaller stride but very sure.  The second is likely to be our murderer.  Educated, wealthy or a quite industrious thief to procure all this equipment, particularly the marble.  Perhaps we could trace the purchase of such an expensive item to further our investigation. 

“The work surfaces are meticulously kept, but the sand on the floor is a bit of a surprise.”  Sherlock crouched and picked up a pinch, rubbing it between his fingers, let it drift to the floor.  He touched his fingertip to his tongue, then spit.  “Sand, but mixed with a generous amount of sodium bicarbonate.  That indicates our scientist was working with acids and had either deployed the sodium bicarbonate over a spill or had prepared for such an eventuality well in advance. 

“Lestrade, if your stomach is bothering you, you could do worse than to dissolve a pinch of the stuff into a glass of water and drink it.”

Lestrade glared at the cause of his heartburn and stopped rubbing his fist into his chest.

“I think we would be better served by interrogating the man who brought you here, especially if you believe he’s been walking around inside this building.”

“Excellent!  I also wish to administer a thorough exam…”

“Not you.  You and Doctor Watson need to go home and leave this to me.  You’ve already put yourselves in enough danger.”

“Home?  Now, when we’re finally getting somewhere?”

“Yes, home.  Your brother would have my head if I let something happen to you, and that’s not just a figure of speech.  I’d be served up on a platter like John the Baptist at the next Holmes family event.”

Sherlock straightened up and looked at the slightly manic Lestrade calmly.  “It would hardly be dangerous for me to attend Bow Street.  It would also be invaluable for me to hear whatever information the man has firsthand.  Thirdly, I would like to take some samples of the man’s blood and tissues for analysis.  He is the only successful resurrection completed by our mad scientist as far as we know and we need to take advantage of that fact to increase our knowledge.”

“Holmes, absolutely not.  Am I speaking the King’s English?  Are you listening?  You will neither interrogate nor examine our prisoner.  Furthermore, I will not allow you to torture or dissect a man in my custody whether you believe him to be some sort of resurrected monster or not.”

“I don’t need to dissect him completely, Lestrade.  I simply need a few tissue samples.  You would impede furthering scientific knowledge?”

“I’m impeding your rampant disregard for the prisoner’s rights!  Holmes, he’s not dead!  I’ve indulged your deductions thus far, but no longer!”

“Yes, he is!  You see the instrument of his resurrection before you!  The multitude of failed attempts to replicate him!  If that isn’t enough to convince you, look to the cut on his neck!  There is no surviving that.  And the wound shows no sign of healing.  If you remove his shirt, I’m certain you’d see where a bullet struck him between the ribs the night he was strangling me.  I’ll wager that there’s little more than a rough stitch or two to keep the wound from seeping vital fluids, not to mention the fact that he seems to be supremely unaffected by such a mortal wound…”  Now they were both shouting at each other, attracting the curious and disapproving stares of half a dozen men.

“Holmes, he’s walking around.  He may even talk yet.  He’s not dead.  You can have him when he’s still and cold on a slab, but for now, I have to treat him like any other prisoner.  I can’t allow you to pick a man apart at the seams on a whim!”

“It’s not a whim!”  Sherlock had begun to seethe at the word “indulged,” and his temper had passed white hot in forge terms.  “I’m beginning to think that you don’t want this solved at all, Lestrade!”

“Holmes, do try to understand.  I believe you, I really do.  But not all of my superiors feel that way and I don’t want to be fired, transported, or hanged because I let you experiment on a man in my custody.”

“Who is deceased!  And your belief in the truth is irrelevant.  The truth is the truth, whether simple minds can grasp it, or no!”

“Why can I never reason logically with you?  No matter how right I am, no matter what argument I make, I just can’t win!  You don’t even listen!  I’m done with it, Sherlock Holmes.  You can get the hell out of here while I sort out this mess without your interference for once!”

Sherlock opened his mouth to tell Lestrade exactly where he’d be without Sherlock’s ‘interference,’ but John’s voice halted his own.

“Sherlock.”  John wrapped a hand around Sherlock’s elbow, around the front though, the wrong way, and his other hand stroked circles over his shoulder blade.  “It’s no use arguing.  Mr. Lestrade cannot concede on this matter.  We need to give him time to organize this mess.  We’ll go home to regroup and form a new plan of action given what we’ve found today.  The resurrected man is going nowhere.  I’m sure Lestrade will keep the man in custody for questioning, at the very least.”

John’s presence at his side did not calm Sherlock’s ire, but it did incite him to tamp it down a little.  His husband was right in that no amount of shouting at Lestrade would entice him to change his mind; he was as stubborn and obstinately contrary as Sherlock at times, even when he was wrong.

 

Chapter 66

 

Sherlock alternately raved and sulked the entire way home, filling the enclosed carriage with his unfettered indignation.  Nothing John said helped matters.  He offered his coat since Sherlock had long been without his and could be cold, but Sherlock shrugged him off.  John’s suggestions of other avenues of investigation or stopping for a meal were rebuffed with chill rage.  He even jokingly offered to be the padded dummy so Sherlock could teach him the rudiments of fencing.  Sherlock’s rebuff was so scathing, John’s face heated and he ceased trying.  Silence reigned somewhere in the vicinity of St. Paul’s.  Each kept to his thoughts for the long remainder of their journey home.

Sherlock burst in the door upon arrival and shot directly up to the first floor, leaving his tight-sleeved jacket at the foot of the stairs to be picked up by Matthews after collecting John’s greatcoat.  It took John a minute to work off his tight gloves; his left hand had swollen.  Donovan must have a face made of stone, and he’d fought the driver as well.  The leather gloves had protected his hands somewhat, but the force of the blows had bruised his knuckles. 

By the time John had hobbled to the bottom step, tall boots exchanged for comfortable leather shoes, strains of mutilated violin began to shatter down to the ground floor.  After a few minutes of random notes, Sherlock began to systematically abuse the strings in a shrieking, Hellish version of scales.  John paused a moment, equally annoyed and worried; Sherlock had never played anything but beautifully in his presence.  Was this how he expressed upset?  That ought to prove vexatious.

“Oh, dear, was it a bad day?”  Mrs. Hudson came bustling forth from the kitchen, spied John hesitating at the foot of the stairs.  “Oh heavens, look at you.  Blood on your face and your collar, and where is your cravat?  Come back to the kitchen and I’ll set you to rights in a jiffy.  No, don’t you dare give me that ‘I’m a doctor’ look, young man.  It’s best to leave Mr. Holmes to his sulk awhile anyway.”

Mrs. Hudson fed John and tended to his minor wounds with warm water and magnesium salts.  His mood was buoyed by the older woman’s good cheer and apparent motherly adoration of Sherlock, as well as a healthy helping of jam tarts.  Still, his leg stiffened after the lazy hour being pampered in the warm kitchen; and he thought if it got much worse, he might not make it up the stairs at all.  John hoisted himself up from the straight-backed wooden chair with a bit of a groan.

“Well, I’m going to beard the dragon in his den, Mrs. Hudson.  Send tea up with Matthews, please, and a few of the tarts, and I’ll see what I can do about Sherlock.”

John had been sitting too long and his bad leg was practically numb, but he ground his teeth and stretched the weary muscles.  When he felt up to it, he headed to the stairs; but of course, the minute he stepped out of the kitchen, and certainly as he ascended the steps, Sherlock’s so-called playing increased in volume.  John mused that the catgut must be remembering its former life, yowling a stray song atop a fence.

“Sherlock!” John shouted to be heard over the cacophony that vigorously assaulted him upon reaching their upper sitting room.

“I’m thinking, John,” Sherlock shouted back, not pausing his vigorous bowing.  John only caught a quarter of Sherlock’s ensuing bitter condemnation of Lestrade, Bow Street, London magistrates, punctuated as it was with variously pitched shrieks from the violin.

“You’re brooding very loudly, Sherlock.  Do sit and have tea, or read, or, heaven forbid, even experiment if you must.  You’ll drive the servants and neighbors to madness.”

Sherlock drew the bow down the length of the strings, the instrument issuing forth an annoyed groan.

“Then what are you doing here?”

“I’m already mad, you see,” John replied.

Sherlock ignored him, moving to the window and energetically playing a discordant piece that at least vaguely resembled a melody.  John decided that was a tolerable compromise.  He went to his room and collected the wooden case that contained his cleaning set.  He laid out the items he would need and when Matthews arrived with the tea tray, John sent him back down to fetch his pistol from his greatcoat.

“Do sit and share these tarts with me, Sherlock.  I believe Mrs. Hudson has a nefarious plan to fatten me up that we must thwart.”  John smiled at Sherlock’s back, but received no response.  “Tea?  Everything is improved with tea?”  Sherlock might have sighed but it was hard to hear over the inharmonious notes.

Matthews returned and handed John the gun with care, though with no lack of familiarity. 

“I could do that, sir, if you wish.”

“No, thank you.  I prefer to do it myself.  That will be all.” 

John was glad the constable had returned his weapon before he and Sherlock had left.  The methodical cleaning process was comforting and the smell of the gun oil reminded him of his father, who had always taught him to take care of his weapons for one day his life could depend on them.  John’s life had depended on his pistol several times, and Sherlock’s twice now as well.  John went through the well-practiced motions of cleaning and oiling the pistol, and after a thought, loaded it again.

When John was done, and the items properly put away, he returned to their shared sitting room.  The frenzied playing was almost pleasant now, though not exactly relaxing.  Still, the noise and clatter of another life in the house was more than companionable.  Even if Sherlock wouldn’t talk to him, he felt a lot less lonely than he had in a long time.

John paused at the bookshelves during a turn about the room, considering what he might find interesting enough to hold his thoughts through Sherlock’s playing (brooding).  He pulled out what looked to be a medical text on rare diseases only to flip it open and find the title page written over with a bold, “Wrong!”  John smirked; this would certainly prove to be entertaining.  He perused the pages, case histories of unexplained deaths, bizarre symptoms, but Sherlock had crossed out many of the conclusions and scribbled in, “Poison – arsenic,” “Poison – hemlock, obvious” or “aspiration pneumonia due to botched asphyxiation by cheating husband; honestly, did no one check his shoes?”

John sat in his chair by the fireplace, bad leg propped up on a little footstool and angled towards the fire, and paged through the book.  He played a game with himself, trying to read each study as a puzzle and see if he could predict Sherlock’s written-in diagnosis.  Between each section, he stood and circled the room slowly twice.  It was entertaining for an hour or so, until Matthews appeared to light the lamps and stoke the fire.

Matthews vanished downstairs immediately after, probably wondering just how John could stand to remain in the room when Sherlock’s playing was so deliberately atrocious.  John considered many ways to get Sherlock out of his foul mood, including shouting him down in his Captain voice, breaking the violin and throwing it into the street hopefully to be put out of its misery by a passing horse and carriage, and physically throwing Sherlock down on the rug and shagging the annoyance from the man.

John let a little smile play on his lips; the third option did have merit.  Sherlock had been playing without pause for a good two hours.  Despite his state of semi-undress, (wearing neither a proper jacket nor his quilted banyan,) he was glowing and the hair curling over his neck cloth was damp.  And without his coattails to obscure it, his plush arse was on display.  John watched him play in his petulance, moving with emphatic gestures and sweeps of the bow.  Had the music been of a more tolerable tone, John would have been completely entranced by the sway of his body, the set of his shoulders, the arch of his back.

“Sherlock.”

“What is it, John?” Sherlock replied with no little exasperation, flinging his bow out to one side and whirling to face his husband. 

“Does that sound like proper music to you?” John enquired quite seriously.  “I only ask because I’d like to ascertain whether or not you were still being adversely affected by the chemicals in the warehouse.”

“I am unaltered.  The distortions in my vision and hearing returned to the normal range before we left the warehouse,” Sherlock answered with flat certainty.

“I’m glad to hear it.”

Sherlock turned away and, after a few limbering movements, put bow to strings yet again.  He resumed playing but his agonized exuberance was muted.  The notes he wrung from the violin were long and pure as if he intended to draw out a two minute piece into ten.  John even thought that he recognized the piece. 

John abandoned the book on his lap, though he idly turned pages without looking at them.  He shifted in his chair to more comfortably watch his husband.  He could admit that he felt more than just attraction to this man – there was quite a bit of affection.  But Sherlock eschewed his touch more often than not, leaving John uncertain as to how to approach him.  He pictured himself pressing against that long, straight back as Sherlock played, feeling the ropey muscles move against his chest.  He could press his nose just under the curls at Sherlock’s nape – surely he was tall enough to reach – and John could memorize what Sherlock smelled like, tasted like.

John remembered their abbreviated kiss earlier that morning and sighed.  Not more than a tease, a touch, a warm feeling that lingered.  How long would it be before Sherlock would kiss him like that again?  What would it take to distract Sherlock from his pique, from his mysteries, and entice him to display some proof that he did indeed desire John in return?

Would it work if John was pressed against his back, if John stroked his hands over Sherlock’s hips?  He saw his thumbs finding the little hollows above Sherlock’s buttocks and his fingertips curling around to brush his pelvic bone.  Then if he slid his hands forward just a bit, he’d find the gap in the fall of his trousers; he could tease his fingers along the edge of the fabric, slip them inside.

Maybe this would distract Sherlock from his violin.  Maybe he’d have to stop playing, need to lean back into John’s embrace.  Maybe John would press the erection he was developing into that arse, discern whether it was soft and lush or tightly muscled.  Maybe Sherlock would open that gorgeous mouth of his and utter a moan in that honey-rich baritone of his.

John heard that moan.  His eyes leapt back into focus as he realized the sound had been a long, low note drawn from the violin, but also that Sherlock had turned and was considering him carefully.

“We could do worse things with this insipid afternoon than consummate our marriage, John.”

“I beg your pardon?” John sputtered, when he should have just stood and said, ‘God, yes.’  What was wrong with him? 

“You heard me.  I do loathe repeating myself, John.”

John had heard, but he wasn’t entirely sure he wasn’t hallucinating.  Could Sherlock read his mind?  The way those eyes penetrated him, John had little doubt that he could.  “Right now?”

“You’ve been watching me, John, for at least a quarter of an hour.  And your thoughts have been of an increasingly lascivious nature.”

John wasn’t surprised to be caught out in his lingering admiration for Sherlock’s backside.  Had it really been that long, though, that John had been lost in his fantasy about his husband?

“How…?” he stuttered, with just a hint of blush.

“The windowpanes reflect nearly as well as mirrors as the darkness falls outside and the lamps are lit within.  It was quite elementary to observe your attention.  And the way you’re shifting the book in your lap is a rather schoolboy method for hiding evidence of an erection.”

“Ah, well, I suppose I’ll have to learn to be more discreet.”  John’s face deepened in color.

“Don’t bother.”

John wasn’t certain what Sherlock meant by that, whether he needn’t bother because he could not hide from Sherlock’s heightened awareness or if Sherlock simply didn’t mind.

Sherlock reached for a cloth from his violin case and began to wipe down his violin.  He laid the instrument in its case with care then proceeded to wipe down and loosen his bow as well.  John took this to mean he was not playing any more tonight.  The heavy quiet beat in his ears.  Or maybe that was his thundering pulse.

“So by your lack of refusal, am I to understand you would be willing?”

John shivered at Sherlock’s sly tone of voice.  It would have been seductive, if he wasn’t so inclined to bluntness.  Of course he was willing, but…  

“Have I not properly expressed my resolve to not neglect you carnally, no matter what my intentions previous to our introduction might have been?”

John’s blush spread to his ears and down his neck.  Even the small of his back felt suddenly hot.  A pulse of blood ignited those “neglected” areas to fresh awareness.

“John.”

When had Sherlock gotten so close?  And since when did firelight reflect in his dark hair like that, giving him red and umber highlights?  Those eyes, though, they were the same, piercing John with their uncanny precision.

Close, so close.

Good God, Sherlock was going to his knees.  In front of John.  Moving the book to the floor.  Sliding his hands up John’s thighs.  If John hadn’t been hard before, the intensity in Sherlock’s eyes, focused on him and intending… intending to…

Sherlock’s fingers found the buttons to John’s trousers, deftly working to open the placket and bring John out right here, right now. 

John’s hands covered Sherlock’s forcefully stilling them.

“I thought you wanted this.  This morning you said…” 

“God, Sherlock, I do, but are you sure you’re ready?”  Was John imagining that Sherlock sounded slightly dejected underneath all that frustration?

“We are neither of us simpering misses, John.  We don’t need to wait for some poetic moment.  You are quite obviously aroused and it will distract my mind from the events of earlier quite effectively.”

“Well, some brilliant man did say I was exceedingly distracting.”  John’s voice, as well as his attempt at humor, was weak.

“Yes,” Sherlock agreed with just a hint of a smile.  His hands resumed their efforts.  John almost lost his conviction at the warmth of Sherlock’s hand cupping over his cock as the other disengaged two buttons.  And then he squeezed just a little.

“Sherlock, not like this, on your knees,” John gasped.  “Please, I want more.”

Sherlock blinked up at John, studying him, the question ‘More? I’m offering everything,’ obvious in the tilt of his eyebrows.  John let go of Sherlock’s hands, moving one of his own to curl around the back of Sherlock’s neck, stroking behind Sherlock’s ear with his thumb.  John shifted in his chair, leaned forward, and pulled Sherlock’s mouth to his.  The kiss itself was simple, a press of lips slightly parted, breath mingling.

“Let me take you to bed, Sherlock.  Let me pleasure you, kiss you, touch you.”  John would have given anything to know what thoughts flew through Sherlock’s mind in the minute before he rose gracefully to his feet. 

“Very well, John.”  Sherlock took up a taper and went ahead to light the two lamps in John’s bedroom.  Their bedroom.

By the time John struggled to his feet and followed, made awkward by an unflagging erection and half-unfastened trousers, the room was glowing.  The soft light would look quite well on Sherlock’s bare skin.  The thought almost made John stumble.

Sherlock kicked his shoes off before crawling onto John’s bed.  Their bed.  He sat against the headboard, plumping a pillow behind his back.  His eyes never stopped watching John, who divested himself of his coat and waistcoat.  Sherlock’s fingers hovered above his own buttons, fussing with them rather than unfastening them.  That was fine.  John made himself as comfortable next to Sherlock as he could, straightening out his bad leg and curling the other around for balance.  John noticed that Sherlock had chosen the far side of the bed, which would allow John to lie on his uninjured side facing Sherlock.

John wrapped a hand around one of Sherlock’s, pulling it to his lips and lightly kissing each knuckle.  When he was done, he guided that hand around his waist, leaning in closer.  He stroked the fine brocade of Sherlock’s waistcoat from shoulder to just below his ribcage, feeling Sherlock’s heartbeat below his fingertips.  John couldn’t believe he was allowed to touch this man, that somehow, unbelievably, this man wanted him in return. 

It took both his hands to unknot Sherlock’s cravat, but before he finished, Sherlock’s lips were upon his and John forgot momentarily how to untie a knot, unfasten a button, and breathe.  Sherlock’s lips pressed against John’s with a violent desperation very unlike the languid passion of the morning.  John held his own, though he needed to clutch Sherlock’s shoulder to steady himself. 

The kiss eased in pressure and John took the opportunity to nip and suck at Sherlock’s plush lower lip.  Sherlock’s tongue joined the game and John felt a thrill at the gentle tasting that shot all the way down his spine.  He surged up against Sherlock, one hand tangling itself in the damp curls at Sherlock’s nape.

Sherlock dragged his lips away, leaving John to pant as he pressed his nose and mouth into John’s open collar – John had not replaced his lost neck cloth, feeling no need of it in the privacy of their own home.  The exuberant attack on his neck, the licks on his collarbone, the nips on the skin under his jaw introduced a few soft gasps into the quiet.

Sherlock rent John’s shirt open instead of sparing the moment it would take to sweep the fabric over his head.  John sighed, though even he wasn’t sure whether this was caused by the loss of a perfectly good shirt or the glorious way Sherlock was sucking a mark onto his neck just there.  It didn’t occur to him until Sherlock paused that his husband had suddenly become aware that it wasn’t only John’s leg that was scarred.

“John, how did you survive?” Sherlock murmured into the thick scar tissue that crawled up from his hip and up to his bottom rib.  His tongue followed one of the pink ribbons, making John shiver.  “Can I see all of it?”

John didn’t particularly think Sherlock found the scarring attractive, intriguing maybe, but neither did he seem disturbed by it.  He may as well be allowed to see all of it.  John pushed his braces off his shoulders and tugged his destroyed shirt off.  Sherlock’s hands were at the buttons of his falls again; then he urged John to lift his hips so he could tug the trousers and smallclothes down.

Soon John was naked, doubly so under Sherlock’s blatant appraisal.  He ought to have been chilled, naked in a cold bed, but he felt nothing but rushing heat when calloused fingertips traced each mark of his healed wound.

John opened his mouth to make a comment about how ugly the scars were, but Sherlock grumbled, “Be quiet, John,” before he could speak.  John was quiet, then, watching Sherlock’s face as the man memorized every whorl and twist where the stitching had been rough and hasty.  Sherlock pushed John onto his back to accomplish this, leaning over him still fully clothed.

“It’s incredible, John,” he breathed.  “There are spots where the line is so delicate one might have carved your clay with a knife.”  Sherlock ran his tongue along one of these places, just beneath John’s ribcage.  It tickled and John twitched, making Sherlock hum.  He ran his mouth down over John’s waist, where he could barely feel anything, and over to just below John’s navel, where he most definitely felt everything.

When he pulled back, John groaned.

“You said you didn’t want my mouth on you, John.”

And if Sherlock’s tone wasn’t so matter-of-fact, John might have thought he was being deliberately teased.

“Perhaps I’ve changed my mind.”  John’s voice was low and a bit gruff, but it caused Sherlock to smile.

“I had no idea you were so changeable, John.”  Sherlock finished unfastening his cravat with adroit fingers, tossing it to the floor before slipping out of his braces and untucking his shirt.  John watched Sherlock tug it over his head with avid interest, the long, narrow torso stretching overhead.  Sherlock exaggerated the movement as if he noticed John looking, but of course John would look.  Sherlock was simply stunning.

“You ought to be a statue in a museum.”

“If I were, I suspect you’d be arrested for indecently groping priceless works of art in public.”

John laughed, surprised at Sherlock’s joke.

“I like your laugh.”  Sherlock rushed now, rolling away to divest himself of all clothing below the waist.  When he returned, he pressed up against John’s side and kissed his still-smiling mouth with fervor.  John let his hands explore since Sherlock wasn’t patient enough to let John investigate with his eyes.   He found a smooth chest with sparse soft hairs in a diamond shape in the center.  He found flat nipples that pebbled up as soon as his palm brushed over them; a bit of gentle attention there made Sherlock’s dexterous kisses stutter.

Further explorations revealed a flat stomach with a thin line of hair leading down after circling his navel.  John curled his hand around the narrow waist, searching for and finding that lush arse.  Taut and muscular as if he rode horses all day, every day, it gave his backside an alluring curve.  John pulled Sherlock more atop him, so he could squeeze with both hands.  Sherlock gasped, his muscles clenching under John’s grasp, and pressed his hips tighter against John’s.  This made them both groan.

John could feel his husband’s cock hard against his own and he shifted his hips to introduce a bit of friction.  Sherlock took up the movement, the gentle rub and pressure desperately wonderful.  John pushed his hips up while pulling Sherlock closer, lost in kisses and the sultry heat of Sherlock’s body.

“Wait, John, wait,” Sherlock gasped, rolling away.  John blinked, bereft and lust-blown, but Sherlock was only reaching for a nearby drawer to pull out a small jar.  It was the same small jar John had left with Sherlock during his unfortunate dosing with an aphrodisiac.  The contents were somewhat depleted, but there was enough for this.

Sherlock opened the jar but now John stopped him instead.

“Not yet.  It doesn’t taste as good as it smells.”  The glint in John’s eye stopped Sherlock cold.

John pushed Sherlock down onto his back and kissed him again because kissing Sherlock was simply irresistible.  But having Sherlock splayed on his back beneath him was even more inviting, and he wanted to know every inch of him.  John’s lips moved downward.  The dip between his collarbones was sensitive to a flick of tongue.  He was a bit ticklish around the sixth and seventh ribs, but only on his left.  A fingertip tracing a straight path south from the navel was a surefire way to get his cock to twitch, as was a deliberate lick along the underside.

Sherlock may have been passive, allowing John to do as he wished, but that did not mean he was unresponsive.  He murmured his appreciation for John’s dedication to detail, and offered little suggestions of preferences when he liked something out of the norm such as being bitten along the curve of his pectoralis major.  Those whispers and soft moans, that voice alone, served to make John’s cock twitch.  So when John worked Sherlock’s foreskin back with his tongue and lips, and Sherlock twitched upwards with a rugged groan, John couldn’t help but grasp his own cock and give it a few firm tugs.

Sherlock was salty and musky and John wanted to dive into that scent, taste him everywhere. Sherlock obligingly lifted his knee, fully exposing his bollocks and darker places and John’s tongue adventured lower.

“If you don’t take me into your mouth extremely soon, John, my prick shall permanently turn to stone as if a Gorgon spied me.”

“I love the strain in your voice when you are desperate,” John chuckled, but shifted to do the task requested.  Sherlock’s cock was flushed pink, long but of a comfortable girth for John’s mouth, with a flared head that just begged for a tongue to swirl around the smoothness of it.  John did so, lapping up the pre-ejaculate as if it were the last drop of jam on the spoon.  Using his hand to control depth and speed, John moved his mouth down the shaft.

Effusive gasps and moans rewarded each downward movement as John took him progressively deeper.  It wasn’t long before a ragged breath and a hand tugging his short hair warned him to pull back.  He did, but only to look at Sherlock sprawled before him, eyes dark and heavy-lidded, lips parted, chest heaving, and bollocks pulled up tight to the base of a florid prick, glossy with saliva.  He had been right; the lamplight did favor Sherlock’s bare skin.

Only when Sherlock had calmed a bit did John slick up his hand with the contents of the jar and straddle Sherlock’s thighs.  He rubbed the cream along his own shaft, a darker shade than Sherlock’s, and enjoyed the look in Sherlock’s eyes as he watched hungrily.  When John scooped up a little more of the cream, Sherlock held out his hand and John slicked up his fingers, giving each digit the same attention he shortly gave Sherlock’s cock.  They fumbled to get their grips just right, but soon they were both snug in a cage of fingers and slick heat.  John used his upper position to rock his hips, thrusting into their grip; the pair of them found a rhythm that would be quick to bring about release.  For all John’s desire to prolong the experience, every nerve in his body was singing for the apex of it all; Sherlock wordlessly agreed.  Sherlock’s free hand wrapped around and clutched John’s arse, fingertips slipping into the crease between, finding just the right spots to rub as he encouraged their pace. 

Sherlock tensed first, grip tightening and his movements becoming frenetic.  The arch of his long white neck at the height of his pleasure was simply breathtaking.  John was compelled to bite it.

“Yes, Sherlock, yes, let yourself go,” John hummed into the crook of that gorgeous neck, as if he wasn’t going to be pulled over the edge himself the second Sherlock spilled over their fingers.

A wordless cry, several sharp movements, and Sherlock’s prick emptied itself onto Sherlock’s belly and John’s fingers.  The hot fluid, Sherlock’s flushed and sweaty skin, the throbbing shaft still pressed tight to his made John push forward twice more before spilling and mixing his seed with Sherlock’s.

They didn’t move for a few moments, couldn’t move.  Sherlock’s hand fell lifelessly to his stomach, apparently carefree about in what it landed.  John caught his breath leaning over Sherlock, braced on both hands pressed to the mattress on either side of Sherlock’s shoulders.  Sherlock’s eyes were closed and John managed to surprise him with a lingering kiss.

“Let me get a flannel to clean you up with, love.  Don’t move.”  John shifted off Sherlock, perching on the side of the bed.  The flannels and water were across the room, but John had forgotten about his cane for the moment.  He still limped, but he made it to the washbasin, washed himself, and came back without needing his cane for balance.  ”Sorry, it’s cold.”  He cleaned Sherlock’s hand and stomach before flinging the cloth back towards the washbasin where it landed with a bit of a splash.  He crawled back into the bed and made himself comfortable on his back.  One arm curled up over his head; the one nearest Sherlock took the other man’s hand in his.

“Did that clear your mind enough to nap a few minutes?” 

Sherlock blinked back at him owlishly as John raised his hand and kissed the back of his wrist. 

 

 
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Posted by on June 1, 2013 in Writings

 

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62-64, and other babbling

So the writing on Regency!Sherlock has been going slower than I like lately.  Not only have I been spending time working on Gambling!John, but I’ve been stressing about other things and sometimes napping quite unexpectedly (really, just going to close my eyes for a minute and BAM! four hours later…).

Also, chapter 64 was a plot-heavy chapter and I was having a tough time figuring out exactly what was going to happen.  As I said in my author notes on AO3 and FF, I had the first partial page of what happened before going into the warehouse, and pages once they walked out, but the warehouse itself was a total blank.  I had no idea what happened in there.  It was like Sherlock looked down his nose at me and said, “I can’t tell you what happened in that warehouse.  I’ve deleted it.”  Dammit, Sherlock, you rat bastard.  :)

Actually, I blame 64, but all three of these chapters had me in knots.  Irene is fun to write, but I’m not witty nor clever much of the time, so it’s difficult to come up with things for her to say.

Anyway, I had a day to dedicate to sleeping in and relaxing (and a little housework, though dishes are just neverending) and spent quite a few hours at the computer working it all out.  I filled my blank hole, smoothed it out, and finished the chapter.  I also worked on the following chapter, connecting everything together with what I’d previously written.  Chapter 65 is still a bit rough and there’s not enough John, so that’ll take a day or two to work on yet, but I’m fairly pleased with my day’s work.

Now I just have to worry that my poor Huntsman story is going to be a month since my last post before I get to the next chapter (another hole where I have much of the end written but am having trouble with the next chapter).  Posting does help keep the story moving along (or wouldn’t we all just nitpick ourselves to death) but sometimes it’s frustrating that you can’t quite skip something that’s being difficult for the time being.  Of course, being forced to work through something difficult is good as well.

My last bit of news is that on AO3, I’m listed as 99 words away from 80,000 posted words on this story.  FF.net, I’m over because the author notes are not separated in the same way.  It’s officially novel-length and not NaNoWriMo short novel length.  Good grief.  :)   Gambling John better move along quickly and not last past the summer, because I’m not doing this six month plus thing on another Sherlock fic!  Gah! :)

Chapter 62

Within an hour, they’d bundled themselves into a shabby carriage for hire and were underway towards Lady Adler’s Bond Street address.  They rolled through several intersections in silence, Sherlock thinking and John observing him from the corner of his eye, of which Sherlock was more than aware.  Still, it surprised him when John lifted Sherlock’s hand, turned it, and placed a small kiss on the bare inside of his wrist, just above the leather of his glove.

Sherlock’s eyes flickered up and down over John but John just returned Sherlock’s hand to his lap with a smile curving his lips and turned his attention out to the city passing by his window.  He quickly assessed his own involuntary reaction to the gesture.  So very curious, this thumping in his chest, this ache – but no, ache wasn’t the right word as it was infinitely more pleasant.

“Now that I’ve agreed to consider incorporating a sexual component to our marriage, are you going to expect saccharine cossetting like hand-holding?”

“Does it bother you if I am sentimental?”

No.  No, not at all.  But Sherlock didn’t put his answer into words.  Sherlock had already put together that he was attracted to John no matter how much he would prefer for it not to be true.  Even admitting it, however, did not make him refrain from repressing it or attempting to avoid the whole realm of emotion.

On the other hand, Sherlock considered that part of John’s appeal was that he was an unknown entity, an unsolved puzzle, something that Sherlock had forbidden himself.  Sherlock could only imagine how he would be – he did not know despite his fever dreams and this morning’s unintentional proximity.  Possibly the reality would disappoint.  Perhaps if this were proven true, as Sherlock invariably found encounters of such magnified anticipation, then the desire he felt might dissipate.  To this end, perhaps he ought to initiate intimacies at the first opportunity rather than hold off and continue to so sharply desire something that could not possibly live up to his fantasy.

“I don’t expect anything, Sherlock, except that you are yourself,” John said when it became clear Sherlock wasn’t going to answer him.  “As for hand-holding, I would need to be on your other side, to keep my gun-hand free.  Practicality, you know.”

Sherlock had little response to this but his lips twitched upwards.

“So is there anything else I ought to know about Lady Adler before we visit?”

Sherlock mused through the vast multitude of facts he’d collected about Irene Adler.

“I suspect you know enough to be going on with, John.  She will likely play her games and tease, but she likes to be clever as much as I.  If she knows something I do not, she will be inclined to share just to see the rare look of surprise on my face.”

Sherlock had the carriage let them out onto the stone walkway several doors down from Lady Adler’s, in front of a building that housed Angelo’s Fencing Academy, next door to the famous Gentleman Jackson’s Boxing Saloon.  John’s eyes lingered upon the signs with more than casual curiosity.

“Have you interest in fencing or pugilism?  I know the elder Angelo; he owes me a favor.”

“I don’t think I’d be terribly nimble at fencing, not with my leg.”

“With proper instruction, it is quite possible that the exercise will be beneficial.”  Sherlock tucked John’s hand around his elbow and guided John the correct direction to Lady Adler’s door.  “We could discuss it another time, perhaps in the spring when the weather warms.”

Don’t think about John in his shirt sleeves and breeches, sweat rolling down the back of his neck as the muscles of his legs and back and arms tense, advancing relentlessly towards his adversary.  Don’t think don’t think don’t think…  Sherlock very deliberately began to categorize his surroundings.

The street was only beginning to bustle this early in the day.  Many among the ton would have been at entertainments late into the night and would not yet have risen for the day.  Later in the day, the walkways would be brimming with ladies and their parasols and other fripperies.  After dinner, the young bucks would take over, perfecting their struts and bathing in the glory of being seen or going about unwholesome business.  But for now, John and Sherlock walked easily around the merchants and their clerks arriving for work, the early risers who preferred to make their purchases before the busy part of the day, and a few gentlemen indiscreetly staggering home from a sporting hotel.

Sherlock opened a door set between two storefronts and started up the steep flight of stairs.

“Surely the Regent does not climb these steps, Sherlock,” John said with a trace of self-depreciation as he struggled with the final few steps to the second floor.  The Prince Regent was currently in his fifties and known for being a rotund gentleman.

“I believe not.”  But Sherlock had caught the humor and rubbed a hand comfortingly over John’s left shoulder blade as he caught his breath on the landing.  Then he realized what he was doing, jerked his hand away, and it became an awkward moment.  He should not have jerked away, but couldn’t take back either the touch or the alarmed reaction.

John cleared his throat.  “Yes, well, which door is it?”  He smiled and allowed Sherlock to step by and rap with gloved hands on a white door with baroque styling and gilt paint.  “Of course.”

They waited for a few minutes before Sherlock rapped again.  This time there was a rustling behind the door and it opened to a simply dressed young woman, blonde hair tied back in a ribbon.  Sherlock skipped the whole calling card convention and simply stated his purpose.

“Sherlock Holmes and John Watson to see Lady Adler.”

“My lady does not receive visitors at this time of day, gentlemen,” the young lady said with a surprising amount of confidence.

“It is a matter of some urgency,” Sherlock said, stepping into the doorway as if he hadn’t heard her.  “Go fetch your mistress or I shall be forced to interrupt the lady in her chamber.”

Any other lady’s maid or servant might have scampered do to Sherlock’s bidding, or even called for a footman to assist the gentleman back out the door, but this one eyed him up before flinging an arm in the direction of a regal blue sofa.  She marched off, head high and back straight, through a door on the far side of the room.

John removed his gloves and tossed them in his top hat.  Sherlock did the same, but removed no more of his outerwear; it wasn’t like they were staying for tea.  He stalked quickly around the room, examining the walls, the paintings, the ceiling, the doorframes, even what appeared to be the amount of dust on the carpet.  John watched him, getting comfortable on the sofa.  He may as well.  There was no telling how long the lady would keep them waiting.

It was hardly five minutes before the door on the far side of the room opened again.  John stood automatically, turned to make a greeting, and froze.  Sherlock turned from his inspection of a blue and white vase in the corner to see what sight had struck John mute when duty called for a polite salutation.

It was indeed Lady Adler entering the room.  And she was quite nude.

“Gentlemen, what a lovely surprise.”

“Irene, really, such a shameless display,” Sherlock scolded as if completely unaffected.  “John doesn’t know where to look.”  John, after a bit of choking gasp, had turned his gaze deliberately towards the fireplace.

“I think he knows exactly where to look.”  Irene smirked and draped herself across a chaise with all the deliberate eroticism of Venus.  “I find his shyness quite appealing.  I suppose you haven’t quite found the time to thoroughly debauch him yet, then?”

Sherlock paced behind her and with a sweeping elegance of his own, drew off his greatcoat and shrouded all her mysteries with it.

Irene looked a tad put out, but Sherlock smiled falsely and said, “We wouldn’t want you to catch a chill.”

“Why, thank you for your concern over my well-being.”  She claimed his greatcoat as her own, slipping it on and looking all the more naked with just a bare knee deliberately exposed by the arrangement of the wool.

Sherlock’s eyes narrowed as his brain started churning.  He glanced at Irene as he paced about the room.

“What are you hiding?”

“I could not possibly be hiding anything.  You, on the other hand, are hiding me.”

“Nonsense, Irene.  You would not have pulled such a stunt unless you were deliberately trying to distract me from something.  You’ve hidden something, something concrete.  Something you do not wish discovered.”  A mere moment, a single stride, and he had it.  “You’ve stolen something from the Prince, letters of some sort.  Hmm, and where are you hiding them?  In this room, surely.”

Irene’s face didn’t change a whit, but that was as telling as any reaction.  Her eyes flickered in a direction only briefly, but Sherlock was waiting for it.

“Tell me what I want to know, and I won’t open the safe behind your poor copy of a Reynolds and return the contents to their rightful owner.”

“You haven’t asked me anything.”  Oh, she was so smug.

“Honestly, Irene, does history teach you nothing?  I realize you were an infant when that actress tried to blackmail the prince, but surely you must know that it won’t work.”

“I would never stoop to blackmail.  The letters are for my protection.”

Sherlock snorted.  “Protection from poverty, perhaps.”  Sherlock’s eyes narrowed.  “They’re not letters to you.  You wouldn’t have had to steal them and the Prince Regent would never be so careless again as to write anything incriminating to a rather temporary mistress.  What precisely do you have?”

They glared at each other.  John looked on, utterly speechless.

Sherlock suddenly gave a grin worthy of a sun-bleached skull.

“Fine.  What do you want?”

“A name, or names.  Has there been any talk, Irene, of someone doing experiments with embalming fluid?  Or possibly of a regenerative nature?  I’d be most interested in the lowest gossip, the inane accusations.”

Irene made a face.  “Embalming, so dull.  What use is a chemical to preserve the dead?”

“What if it could preserve life?”

“Then perhaps I could keep a secret if such a miracle were promised to me.  They say that beauty doesn’t last forever, but I intend that mine shall.”

“That is foolish, Irene.  You’d be better suited to becoming the muse of some poor, talented painter in your quest for immortality.  Though that would certainly disrupt your current comfortable arrangement.”

“It’s dreadfully dull sitting for portraits, Sherlock.  I prefer to make my mark on life.  Besides, if you are looking for embalming and regeneration experiments, you should not have left the dissection so early the other day on Victor’s arm.  The heart began to beat while completely outside of the chest!”

That he’d missed something so spectacular only served to raise Sherlock’s ire; that, and the way her eyes slid to John, to gauge whether Sherlock’s husband had spied Victor and Sherlock leaving together the way she had.  John’s visage remained relaxed and unchanged, to which Irene replied by twisting her mouth into a petulant little moue.

“I’ve already discounted the work Oliver has been doing in the anatomical field.”  Sherlock paced and waved his hand as if physically wiping Oliver’s presence from his mind.  “There is no indication he has a skill level commensurate with the work we’ve been seeing.”

“The bodies found yesterday?”  Irene’s eyes lit up.  “I do so love a mystery.”  She straightened up on the lounge, arranging herself quite primly.  “Will you share?”

“No.”

“Selfish.”

“Yes.  Now, who else has dropped whispers of such dealings?  Who has shown undue curiosity on the subject?”

“Undue curiosity, my dear Sherlock?  The subject is all the rage, as well you know.  Even Byron and Shelley muse about the natural philosophies.”

“Many may wax poetic on the subject, but few would have the chemical skill to design such a compound.”

“Well, then, if I had to name three, they’d be you, Victor, and the Professor.”  Her eyes glimmered with mirth.

“That’s hardly helpful, Irene.”

“Truthfully, Sherlock, I haven’t the foggiest.  There are those who seek to continue Galvani’s work on anatomical electrical impulses, such as Volta.  Or you could speak with Gerdy or Gratiolet, but they’ve not been in London to my knowledge.”  Irene smiled again.  “Perhaps you ought to ask at a bookshop to see if there have been any suspicious characters purchasing Galvani and Darwin.”

“Have you been following me?”  Sherlock himself had purchased one of Galvani’s works and The Temple of Nature by Erasmus Darwin just the other day.  How had she known?  Of course, in spite of her cloying femininity, Irene would have won an argument with Plato himself.

“I hardly need to.  You are nothing if not predictable.”

Sherlock squeezed his long fingers into tight fists, trying to control his temper.  He would not let this woman crawl into his head and make a home there.  To get the information he needed, he must outwit her.

“Very well, then.  Let us examine your suspects.  I know where I’ve been these past weeks and I am certainly not the murderer.  I know you’ve been carousing with the Regent, so you’re unlikely to be experimenting with chemicals between fetes and banquets.  The Professor has likely been engrossed in building his electrostatic generator for weeks now.  We all know how bewitching he finds new toys.  So then what has Victor been up to?”

“Oh, so now you’re asking me about Victor?  You could simply stop by.  I’m certain he would be absolutely thrilled to see you.  You could even bring your husband; I’m sure Victor wouldn’t mind.”  Irene’s tone remained playful, but Sherlock couldn’t quite see from his position what sort of look that she gave John to make him blush and fidget on the sofa.  Sherlock paced back behind John so that if Irene looked at John, she’d have to look at Sherlock directly as well.  She preened under his withering glare.

“Irene,” he warned.  She smiled and continued on in her puckish tone.

“Before the dissection, though, I hadn’t heard from Victor in weeks.  He has withdrawn from Prinny’s circle, has hosted none of his usual entertainments.  I gather he has found a new lover over whom to obsess, a soldier.”  Irene eyed John.  “Perhaps I ought to try one.  Apparently, they’re utterly captivating.”

“Have you met this soldier of his?”

“No, as I said, I hadn’t seen him until the morning of the anatomical demonstration.  I take his solitude at the event to mean that his new friend is somewhat rough and uncouth, or he would have attempted to use the man to inspire your jealousy.”

“Hardly possible.”

Sherlock was frustrated.  His conversation with Irene was getting him absolutely nowhere.  He wandered over to the window, wondering where else to go, who else to ask.  Perhaps he ought to spend more time with the children on the streets.  They certainly saw more than anyone else in the city, and would enthusiastically turn their observations into coin.  Or perhaps the resurrection man Corbeau was charged with sending along with turn out useful, if he ever showed up.

He paced to the window, hearing Irene engage John in low conversation while Sherlock thought and turned things over in his mind.  The culprit simply had to be a man of science, someone educated.  He would make a list of all the scientific men in London if he had to, search each of their homes for proof…

Sherlock paused by the window, watching the people stroll past.  Just then, a hack paused to pick up a lone passenger.  The young man hopped into the carriage, testing the no-doubt aging springs.  When the carriage didn’t drift back into traffic immediately, Sherlock ducked his head forward to peer more closely at the driver and his head thunked against the glass.

Irene’s titter and John’s “Are you alright?” registered, but Sherlock paid them no heed.  The would-be passenger exited once again only to shout something at the driver which was roundly ignored.

“Would someone be looking for those letters you stole, Irene?  Because there is a very suspicious driver intent on remaining in front of your door.”

 

Chapter 63

 

“Captain Watson, despite my teasing, I do wish you and Sherlock the very best,” Irene said as Sherlock strode to the window and immersed himself in the passing traffic.  She spoke softly as not to be overheard.

“Thank you, Lady Adler,” John replied politely.

“You are much more confident in his presence this morning.”  Her gaze had focused on John again.

“Am I?”

“You do seem to have reached a sort of accord.  I must say, I didn’t imagine anyone would be able to reach him.”  She glanced behind her towards the window, gaze lingering on Sherlock’s stiff posture.

John suppressed his surprise.  Everyone in Sherlock’s world seemed to be far too clever.  Still he wasn’t about to be provoked into sharing intimate details of his marriage with this woman.

“I have no idea what you mean, Lady Adler.”

“You’re in love with him.”

“You’re mistaken.  We met less than a month ago.”

“If you say.  But I see how you look at him.”  She grinned with her usual playful intent.  “I see how you look at me when I look at him.”

John didn’t like her observation one bit.  “I believe Sherlock and I will suit each other, Lady Adler, and that is all I mean to say on the subject.”  John edged forward in his seat, hoping Sherlock would decide it was time to leave very soon.

“Captain Watson, do forgive me if I am unkind.”  She leaned forward towards him, clutching the wool of Sherlock’s greatcoat around her neck to imply modesty.  “I am afraid I have grown bitter and it escapes me at times.”  Lady Adler looked sincere but John would be foolish to trust her.

“I do not presume to know what you mean.”  John eyed Sherlock pacing near the window, but the man gave no indication that he’d heard.  He was lost in his own thoughts as usual.

“Sherlock was always the man none could tame.  Victor came the closest, but in the end he misjudged his manipulations and lost.  I don’t think he has ever forgiven himself for that.  And I have no one but myself to blame for my imprudent heart.”

“Lady Adler, I really don’t think we should be having this conversation.”

“Captain Watson… John, please.  One would think a man like him would be difficult to love.  Even he believes it.  But he is a brilliant sun, burning those who don’t bask in his glow.  So few truly understand him and he understands no one.  He refuses the love given to him and I suppose I cannot blame him – I had nothing but selfish love, Victor, obsessive love, and Lord Sherrinford lorded over him since childhood.  He throws off us all for those imperfections.  Do not be ‘dutiful’ love, cold and cheerless, I beg of you.”

John stiffened.  “Lady Adler…”

“Just pray don’t give up on him.   Just love him even when he won’t allow it.”

Just then, Sherlock knocked his head against the window glass with a loud thunk, and gratefully, without a tinkling of shattered glass.  Lady Adler’s nervous titter and John’s, “Are you alright?” were ignored and Sherlock sprang away from the window.

“Would someone be looking for those letters you stole, Irene?  Because there is a very suspicious driver intent on remaining in front of your door.”

John marked a rapid blink of Irene’s eyes, the only indication she was worried at all by the implication.  She stood gracefully, fastening the coat’s buttons to keep it closed over her naked for more securely.

“Kate,” she called, her voice not the least bit tremulous, “Beta.”  The maid, or companion, or whoever she was appeared a moment later with a satchel, a sturdy pair of shoes, and a large swath of sheer veil.

Stuffing her feet into the quite un-Irene-like shoes, she progressed to the painting Sherlock had indicated before, swung it on hinges hidden in the framing, produced a key from whence John could not possibly guess as she’d not been wearing so much a necklace, and turned it in a safe box recessed into the wall.  Irene swept the contents into the satchel without a modicum of interference from either Sherlock or John.

“Sherlock, my dear, I’m obliged to borrow your coat awhile.  I shall return it when I can.  Captain Watson, our chat was lovely.  I do hope we meet again.”

With that, she ran lightly across the room to a small half-door Kate had opened in the wall, the entrance completely disguised by the lines in the wainscoting, ducked into it with the woman, and was gone.

“Should we follow her?” John said after his startlement had eased.

“To what purpose, John?” Sherlock replied drily.  “Capture her for the sake of justice or offer gentlemanly assistance to a lady who has no need of it?”

Since John didn’t really have an answer, he remained silent, allowing Sherlock to reveal his purpose when he chose.

“Besides, John, it is the driver we are interested in!”  Sherlock gestured towards the window.  “Hurry now, John, we must catch a hack.”

Sherlock burst out the door and was down the stairs.  John followed as swiftly as his leg would allow.  He clomped heavily down the steep staircase after Sherlock, glad they had little need of stealth since he could provide only one or the other.

“Why the hack, Sherlock?” John panted as he caught up to Sherlock, who was peering out the door onto the street.  “Surely if it is someone the… that was sent after Lady Adler, it is not a situation in which we ought to interfere.”

“It’s doubtful this man was sent after Irene.  I simply wanted to see if I was right about where and what she had hidden in her apartments.  The papers were most precious to her, so of course she would save them.  I suppose I could have set a fire, but such extremes proved unnecessary.”

John blinked.  “Sherlock, that was reprehensible!”  But when Sherlock glanced back at him uneasily, he surely saw the irrepressible mirth on John’s face.  When John began to let his laughter sputter out, Sherlock returned the smile.  “Oh, I shouldn’t be laughing, Sherlock, but I suppose she deserved a fright.”

John was wiping his eyes, still giggling, when Sherlock leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his upturned lips.  The action silenced him immediately.  It was a chaste kiss, just a press of lips, but John’s heart felt like it flopped onto a bed in an overly dramatic swoon.

Sherlock hastily pulled back, clearing his throat and letting his eyes flutter back to the sliver of light from the street.  “Yes, well, she will return when she realizes she is not in danger.  In the meantime, take a look at the driver and tell me what you see.”

John shifted towards the opening in the door.  Sherlock didn’t relinquish his place, so John tucked himself very closely against his husband.  The contact made him smile, aware of where his body touched Sherlock’s: his left shoulder was tucked up against Sherlock’s arm; Sherlock leaned forward, pressing his chest against John’s back; and now John’s ear was nestled against Sherlock’s jaw as they shared the view out the narrow gap in the door.  John almost couldn’t be bothered to use his eyes, so distracted was he by Sherlock’s body.

It took him nearly a minute to see the driver and several long seconds before he understood what precisely Sherlock was trying to point out to him.  When he realized, he started, almost knocking his head into Sherlock’s.

“That’s the man we chased off Westminster Bridge the other night!”  The recognition had hit John all at once, though he could not have described the man in much detail.  There was simply something in the way that the man’s hat was pulled down low over his face, his shoulders were hunched and the collar of his coat was drawn up around his ears.  There was just the sense of awfulness, wrongness that John recognized from the bridge as if it were a smell.

“Yes,” Sherlock replied in a low voice close to John’s ear.  “Shall we see if he gives us a lift?”

“Sherlock!” John hissed as Sherlock swung the door open and strode out into the sunlight.  Sherlock paused, but it was only to offer John his arm.

“Come along, husband.  We don’t want to be late.”  He winked and grinned at John’s grimace, but John took a deep breath and went along gamely.  They strolled up to the still-empty carriage and Sherlock greeted the man perched above.

“My good man, can you take us up to Baker Street?”

The driver turned his head slowly and observed the two gentlemen standing before him.  Sherlock had scooped up his hat and gloves on his way out of Irene’s but was still without his greatcoat, though the chill wind didn’t seem to bother him.  John leaned heavily on his cane, free arm looped around Sherlock’s elbow, peering up to give the driver a false, friendly smile.  The driver’s head jerked in assent.

“Excellent,” Sherlock said, opening the carriage door and handing John inside.  He clambered in himself and shut the door.  By the time he was settled in his seat, the horses had begun to tug the carriage out into traffic.

“Do you suppose he will actually take us to Baker Street?” John muttered under the noise of the horses, a multitude of wheels on cobbles, and the general cacophony of London.

“I do hope not.  Have you got your gun?”  John did and he checked it now before sliding it back into his coat’s long pocket.  “It is too much to hope that he will take us to his master, I suppose, though that would be a lucky turn in the mystery.”  Sherlock glanced out the window to ascertain their route.  They were heading neither north nor west towards Baker Street and they passed several streets where their course could have easily been corrected had the driver intended to do so.  Sherlock nodded at this with a pleased smile.

“Clearly, he was waiting for us.  I do wonder how long he has been keeping apprised of our movements.  The encounter at the Westminster Bridge could not have been mere coincidence.”

“We can only assume that it’s been all along, Sherlock.  Given the letters addressed to you, and these encounters, is it not likely that this entire puzzle is for your attention alone?  One wonders why he bothered to involve Mr. Lestrade or Bow Street at all.”

Sherlock didn’t seem to consider this a question worth an answer, just nodding absently, but he did continue to mark their route through London.  John tried to pay attention as well, but certain sections of London were basically unmarked mazes of streets and alleyways, and John had only ever learned his way about Smithfield when he trained at Bart’s.  Sherlock likely had a better map of London in his head than anyone could possible print.

So it was little surprise that John had no idea in which dank rookery the carriage finally rolled to a halt and Sherlock stepped from the carriage with an appraising eyebrow.

 

Chapter 64

 

Judging by the wind’s direction and the smell, they were just west of Messrs. Potts’ Vinegar Works, towards London Bridge, and the grounds of Barclay’s Brewery began just north.  They’d practically driven past Bow Street and had crossed the Thames at Blackfriar’s.  There was little traffic on this particular street in the midst of a workday, mostly wagons carting barrels and burly drivers one street over.

“Where are we?” John hissed as Sherlock balanced him as he stepped from the carriage.

“Bankside, Baskerville Road,” Sherlock replied.  “If all else fails, High Street is in that direction and will take you to London Bridge.”  He said this in a low voice, keeping his eyes on the driver descending from his perch.  The man clambered deliberately, carefully, as if he wasn’t quite sure of his step or grip, and wouldn’t trust the strength of his limbs with a leap.  Sherlock’s keen eyes noted the black-stitched cut on the base of the neck, visible as the man wore neither scarf nor cravat and seemed to be depending on a worn hat pulled too far down and his upturned coat collar for protection from the chill.  If he even felt it, of course.  If a bullet to the chest had not bothered him, a brisk wind was unlikely to cause discomfort.

John had his gun out, but it was still half-cocked and pointed to the ground, tucked behind a fold of his greatcoat.  He was watching their driver as well, ready at any moment to raise his gun in defense of Sherlock and himself.  Sherlock was certain from the way John’s eyes focused on the man’s head that any close range shot he fired into the man would not be an inefficacious body shot.  He was curious to know if a lead ball to the brain would work, actually, but this was hardly the time for that experiment.

Sherlock kept one tenth of his attention on the driver, but he seemed neither inclined to speak nor attack so Sherlock examined their whereabouts.  The long, low building behind them was clearly in use (brass handle on the nearest door, unpolished in a mottled fashion, shiny where hands touched it regularly), though the several residential buildings across the narrow street were clearly unoccupied, (an utter lack of laundry on the lines strung haphazardly across the alley taking advantage of the clear, breezy day; also several of these lines had rotted through and fallen proved that the buildings had been unoccupied for some time).

“This building, then?”  Sherlock gestured to it.  Their driver, still silent, gestured towards the door with a twitch of his carriage whip.  There was a very interesting humming noise emanating from within that drew Sherlock forward without prodding.  “Come, John.”

John didn’t hesitate, but swung his cane along and kept a wary eye on the driver who followed them to the door.  Several things assaulted the intrepid pair as the door opened: a smell both foetid and chemical, an utter miasma of stenches both human and manufactured; radiating heat as from a thousand bodies working in a confined space; and a thrilling buzz of static in the air that made their fine hairs stand up and crackle like miniscule lightning rods.

Despite this, there was no real sense of people within the building.

Sherlock took several curiosity-driven steps forward; John hovered near the door, using the minimal amount of light that penetrated the vast building to survey their surroundings.  Sherlock darted to a nearby table and began to survey the equipment it held: blackened glassware, tongs, thick needles sharp enough to pierce leather, a cold, empty oil burner, long coils of copper tubing.  Several flasks and vials contained liquids of various colors and viscosities; six jars contained powders.  The floor gritted under their shoes from a thin layer of sand.

“Stay by the door for now, John.”

John shifted as little as possible, mostly sidestepping out of the light from the doorway and up against the opened door.  He turned slightly so he could watch Sherlock examining the marks on in the sand on the floor and, without turning his head completely, see the driver hovering a few feet away in the street.

Sherlock, satisfied with what he’d gleaned from the marks on the floor, started opening flasks and very delicately sniffing their contents.  He did not touch the vial that clearly contained a chunk of white phosphorus and water, nor did he do more with the powders than examine the way they shifted within the glass.  It wouldn’t do to cause an unknown reaction in a foreign lab.  Still, he slipped a stoppered vial with a thick red liquid into one of his pockets, and a few other unknown items became secreted about his person.

Minutes later, with the majority of the contents of the table stored away in his pockets or in his head, and Sherlock moved on to explore other things.  He had yet to ascertain the source of the heat and the humming breeze of static.  A light would have been useful here, but Sherlock considered what gasses an open flame might trigger; the smells inside were too strong to discern if anything in the air was particularly flammable.  Hopefully John wouldn’t have to fire his gun and prove or disprove the presence of something ignitable within the air.

Sherlock crept deeper into the warehouse, further from the light at the door.  Any windows or openings the building had once had for light and ventilation had been closed up tightly.  The hot air closed in on Sherlock as his surroundings darkened and the light that remained took on a faint blue tone.  That blue light had an edge to it, as if its source was hidden behind a wall.  Sherlock moved in that direction, hearing a distinct whir mottled with stops and jumps.

A sudden change to the quality of the light made Sherlock pause and look back.  There didn’t seem to be a rectangle of light behind him anymore.  There were a few glowing specks here and there, possibly the phosphorus that had been on the table and perhaps a few cracks in the brick or boarded-over windows.

“John,” he hissed.  Nothing but silence and darkness.  “John?” he called, just a little louder this time.  It was unlikely there was anyone in the building to hear him, and the driver already knew they were there.  Still, there was no response.  Surely if John were in trouble, he would have shouted.  Sherlock wasn’t that far away; he would have heard a fight.  But if something had happened, a surprise attack he hadn’t time to defend himself against, he’d be unable to respond.

The blue light brightened ahead of him and Sherlock wavered between going forward and going back.  John.  A pit of dread opened in his belly and Sherlock sucked in a tortured breath.

The sense of uneasiness trebled, and Sherlock had decided to move back to the door to find John and fetch a proper lantern when a faint growl overpowered the electric hum.  Sherlock began to back away from the blue glow slowly, but it brightened as if approaching him.  The growl escalated into a quick, snapping bark.

Sherlock’s heart began pounding and his eyes opened so wide it ached.  His vision was becoming accustomed to the darkness and the blue glow, but he blinked around in a panic looking for something he could not see.  Be calm, be rational, he scolded himself, but soon that part of his brain disappeared and he felt like nothing more than a scared, shivering mess.  He’d faced worse things in his life; why should a dog and a dark room make him quiver like a child in the dark?

The barking continued until it seemed to echo all around Sherlock, as if Sherlock and the dog were trapped in a tight metal box, the sound reverberating against the walls until there was nothing but the dog, a hundred dogs, a thousand dogs clamoring with foam and bloodlust.

Sherlock had no weapon except for a knife, and he pulled it out now even though the last place he wanted to be was close enough to large angry dog to use a four inch blade.  And then he saw it.  It was huge, monstrous, with shaggy fur so black it glowed blue, eyes flecked with spectral marsh lights.  It barked so vigorously that it drooled drops of acid that glowed like phosphorus and sizzled when they hit the floor.

Sherlock’s throat closed tight with fear; he breathed through his nose with shallow, whistling gasps.  He stumbled backwards, trying not to fall against tables or stools, barely noticing the cages and crates as the creature stalked forward towards him, swinging that massive head and baring row after row of serrated teeth the like of which Sherlock had only seen once hanging on the wall of a tavern frequented by sailors.  Great white jaws seemed to jump closer and closer to him, far ahead of the beast that stalked him.  Sherlock couldn’t turn to run; he couldn’t remove his eyes from that snapping jaw, that horror-inducing creature whose hot breath already surrounded him.

He had to have backed up far enough to be at the door, to run into John, but there was just nothing but endless space for that beast to hunt him.  It had toyed with him so far, but soon it would spring, ripping into him, hopefully snapping his neck with those massive jaws before shredding his body into bloody chunks.  Yes, that was the only thing to hope for anymore, that he’d die quickly rather than in sumptuous agony.

Then there was a bright white light followed by a deafening bang.  After that, all light seemed extinguished, including the beast’s glow.  Nothing but panicked whimpers escaped Sherlock’s throat and his hand clenched even tighter around the handle of his knife as he twisted his head back and forth dizzyingly fast trying to see something, anything.

More white light blinded him and he threw up an arm over his eyes with the pain of it.

“Sherlock, Sherlock, are you hurt?  Sherlock, please say something.”

The voice slowly infiltrated Sherlock’s ears; he realized he’d been hearing it for a while but it had entered his ears only as a useless buzz, jolts in the constant static thrum.

“John?”

“Thank God,
Sherlock.”  Steady fingers peeled his fingers from the handle of the knife.  “Come outside.  You need some air.”  Sherlock allowed himself to be led out into fragrant London.  His throat loosened and he swallowed great gulps of tangy, yeasty air.  The sky was too bright and the buildings wavered and frowned like great stone heads glaring at him and deciding whether he would be good to eat.

“What happened to you in there?  I was calling and calling.”

“I… I don’t know, John.  I was investigating the humming sound and this blue light.  Then I panicked.  And a giant hound was chasing me.”

“That Bull and Terrier?  Vicious bastards, they can be…”

“A Bull and Terrier?  But it was massive.”  Sherlock gestured with his hands before he realized he was describing a dog the size of a horse.  He let his hands fall to his sides, then over his face, pressing against his eyes.  “I must have inhaled some sort of chemical that invoked hallucination.”  He tried to recollect precisely what he saw, but it was wall tinged with panic and confusion.

John clapped a hand on Sherlock’s shoulder, trying to be of comfort.  Sherlock jerked away and began pacing.

“I need to think, John!”  Thinking was harder than it ever was; Sherlock’s mind still felt muddled and in complete disarray.  It was as if he was searching through the rubble of a collapsed building.  Fine, he’d start with his body.  Taking deep breaths of brisk air, Sherlock cleared his mind and eventually the stuttering palpitations of his heart began to ease.  When he felt a bit more calm and in control, he opened his eyes and carefully examined the world around them.

The buildings were neither looming, nor staring at him with empty eyes, an all-around good sign.  He was slow to come back to himself, to realize that their driver, their guide into this hellhole, was hog-tied just inside the door of the warehouse, squirming and grunting but unable to break the hold of… rope and John’s neck cloth.  John was watching him carefully, but he was just John, a capable soldier, a warrior medic even now applying a clean handkerchief to the cut near his temple without wince or complaint.  John’s collar was undone and he showed signs of a scuffle: dirt marring the fabric of his coat, a trickle of blood just before his ear, a red mark on his chin that would likely bruise brilliantly by morning.

“John, are you well?”  Surely the intense alarm he was feeling was some after-effect.

“I’m fine, Sherlock,” his husband replied breezily.  He might have grinned, even, but his face sobered when Sherlock said, “So tell me how you subdued the driver while I was inside uselessly crumbling into a pathetic wretch.”

John frowned, leaning on his cane for a moment before answering.

“The driver tried to shove me aside and slam the door.  I managed to subdue him, but it was a close thing.  He doesn’t seem to feel pain, even when kneed in the jewels.  Once I’d stunned him for a moment, I got his arms wrapped up in my cravat and things went much easier after that.  I found a bit of rope and finished wrapping his legs.  Just then, I heard the barking, saw you backing away from the dog, and shot it.”  John shrugged like it was no big feat, that he hadn’t bested a man who’d overcome Sherlock or saved Sherlock from a living nightmare.  “So, now what do we do?”

Shouts echoed a block away and soon thick-soled boots thundered down the cobbled street.

“Apparently we wait for the police to arrive and tread all over every useful bit of evidence.”

 
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Posted by on May 14, 2013 in Writings

 

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Gambling!John and Wattpad

Last night upon posting chapter 62 on ff.net and AO3, I wrote out a massive author’s note talking about certain details I used in the story (because we all know I research way too much) and also about a story I worked on all day Saturday, much to my own chagrin.  It isn’t as if I need another unfinished work to haunt me!  Lazarus Machine is running over 80,000 words in my file (around 75K posted, finished words) and I’ve been having trouble figuring out precisely how my next Huntsman chapter will work.  I posted a second chapter on Wanderer and have been trying to get the third to coalesce as well.  Not to mention I haven’t done a lick of work on Ethne’s story, which I wanted to have edited by the end of the month, but that just isn’t happening (though I have made a cover for it, so I can post on Wattpad looking semi-professional; I loathe the LazMac cover I put there).

Which brings me to Wattpad.  I started posting Lazarus Machine there, which has received no response as of yet.  That’s fine, it’s still in the early chapters and it’s probably much harder to find on a bigger site, but I do have a few opinions.  First, what is up with the tags?  I hate that you can’t put a phrase as a tag.  “Arranged marriage” becomes a meaningless “marriage” in one part of the list and “arranged somewhere else totally different.  And formatting transfers fine except that the double spaces between paragraphs turn into triples, so I have to go through and fix that before posting.  At any rate, I am just hoping I start getting some views there as well.

Anyway, so this new story I’m working on is called Gambling!John in my head (much in the way Lazarus Machine is called RegencySherlock in my head).  It’s not made much of, but in the original stories, John liked to gamble a little.  As author, Watson wasn’t going to go thoroughly into his own vice, I expect, but it is mentioned as part of the reason he’s looking to flatshare.  So as I was writing RegencySherlock in the early stages, I pondered incorporating this into the story.  I saw John Watson at the Diogenes Club, which had transformed into a gambling hell instead.  I saw Sherlock catching a glimpse of this man, perhaps yet again.  I tried several scenarios in my head, added a bit of a previous glimpse at John at Gentleman Jackson’s Boxing Saloon, just to get John a bit undressed mind you, and wrote a few pages.  Then I let it go because I had nowhere really to go with the story, no plot to speak of, and no real time to focus on it.

Skip to Friday night last week and I mentioned it to a friend somewhat vaguely, and opened my file, surprised I had a good four or seven (can’t recall) pages written.  I read through it and considered the story.  I had several scenes I wanted in the story, and one that I had conjured for Regency Sherlock but just wasn’t going to work as much as I liked it, and suddenly, plot popped up!  I could write it out as a casefic for the plot, the interactions between Sherlock and John would fit in perfectly… and suddenly I was 27 pages in by the end of Saturday.

This reminds me of something about procrastination which I’m not going to look up now, that people who procrastinate generally get something done, even if it’s not what they feel they ought to be doing.  They are not doing it out of laziness, but more out of a sense of prioritizing (whether faulty or not).  That’s how I feel about it as well.  I did not finish chapters on the stories I ought to, but I wrote 20 pages that day and I can be satisfied with that.

And never fear, I finally did make it through Chapter 62 Wednesday night!  I’m still plugging along, even though I rather grimly note that Lazarus Machine is turning into 100K word epic.  (I read a fic or two that are in the 200K range, so I aspire to finish it well before that!)

 
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Posted by on April 18, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Umnichka John and chapters 59-61

So on April 1, I posted about The Lazarus Machine being translated into Russian.  (Actually, not a joke!)  Ten chapters have been posted so far and I’m rather enjoying the totally incomprehensible translations by Google Chrome on the comments.  There was one particularly lovely one that had the awkward elegance of a haiku.  It read:  Bogged down in silent delight.  Each new chapter – a small masterpiece.  :)   I kind of want to stitch that on a sampler.

Another thing which is interesting with Google Translate is that not all words manage to get translated.  For whatever reason, some words go from Cyrillic letters to Latin lettering, but they don’t actually translate.  I like to look them up to get the gist of the meaning.  One of these words, my absolute favorite, is “umnichka,” particularly in its reference to John (in the original comment).  It is apparently an endearing word relating to “clever.”  So “umnichka John” makes me melt a little.  :)

Another reader has requested permission to translate it into Chinese, though that has not started yet as far as I know.

I’ve also been considering uploading this particular story to Wattpad.  I had originally decided not to, being that this is fan fiction, but after seeing how much fan fiction was already on there, I felt considerably more comfortable.  Though it needs to stop recommending One Direction fan fiction to me.  Honestly, I wouldn’t even know who they were except I like iCarly!

In conjunction with infiltrating Wattpad, I wanted to start finishing up some salable work.  Yeah, I know I’ve been saying that a long time.  It’s a lot less stressful to write fan fiction, I think, because the audience is already there and if you’re even halfway decent, you’ll get love.  Still, it’s time I really buckle down.  At any rate, on Wattpad I can post chapters as I’m finished editing, much like I do with Sherlock, and perhaps even a limited amount of feedback, I’ll be motivated to finish.

To that end, I started making a cover for Sherlock (and was browsing deviantart because I just like to) and have been pondering what I might do for a cover for Ethne’s story.  I’ve some hardcore decision-making coming up with regards to that story, but I do have some excellent ideas to add a couple of chapters to it!  So it’s in my head already!

Now to just actually FINISH something.  (Though LazMac has topped 70,000 words and I’m hoping, hoping, hoping, that it doesn’t top 100K.  Oh it probably will.  Egads.)

This week I wrote three chapters, 59, 60, and 61 in quick succession.  I had promised the third of those by tonight, Sunday night, and by midday Saturday, I was definitely regretting that promise!  I had been having a really hard time with 61.  I kept inserting so much angst because the phrasing was cool, but everyone was miserable and unhappy and the beginning of the chapter was so sunny.  I just loathed it.  I could not get the conversation to go right.  I rewrote it several times, tried out different concepts, even considered switching from John’s POV to Sherlock’s and seeing if it helped.  Nothing did.

I couldn’t even see the problem at first.  Why wasn’t it working?  Why did none of the conversation flow through the scene.  What was I saying?  What did I want to say?  And while I was at work this afternoon, trying on one of my breaks to (suffer through country music and) write the scene yet again, I realized what I would have to do was throw out three-quarters of what I’d written for it.  It was all wrong.  It galled me to do it, but it was so much better in the end.  It didn’t have that dismal tone, the characters didn’t make me want to cry, and best yet, they weren’t making each other cry!

Points all around!  So when I came home from work, I started several paragraphs earlier from where I’d been trying to work on the scene, cut everything, and wrote the scene.  I did still use a few bits and pieces from the original, from the eight different tries scattered on spare sheets of page-a-day calendars and notebooks and printouts, but it had an altogether more happy result.  And it still accomplished my initial objective!

So relieved.  Now I can watch tv for an hour without feeling (too) guilty.  And I’m looking forward to the next chapter I will be writing.  Yay.

Now, since I typically have been posting about every three chapters, here are 59, 60, and 61.  There are bits that are gross, and bits that are smutty :)   Enjoy!

 

 

Chapter 59

 

“John, we should perform a full autopsy on at least one body.  I’d like your assistance,” Sherlock said from where he’d commandeered Anderson’s desk in the corner.

“He’s not here, freak.”  Anderson’s snide voice grated on Sherlock’s nerves.  He was lucky the morgue attendant had kept quiet most of the day, sulking he’d been deemed extraneous when his own morgue was overflowing with bodies.  “He and Lestrade went to get dinner like normal people.”

Sherlock ignored Anderson, and soon after the man huffed and left, balling up his work smock and tossing it ineffectively at Sherlock.  John had mentioned food.  How long ago was it now?  Shouldn’t he and Lestrade be back?  There was a case on, after all!

And the case, the case, how messy it was.  Such a glut of murder.  Nothing but the most superficial similarities between the victims – strong, healthy people who would be missed, taken right out of their daily lives.  Sherlock wanted to talk to more of the families, pinpoint the places where they were last seen alive, find the connection between them all that made the murderer target them, collect them for his little spree.  Had they all visited the same sweet shop, crossed the same street, worn a particular color of clothing?  Or had it just all been happenstance?  Everything seemed so random: the victims, the abduction locations, the dump sites.  There had to be one miniscule piece that was missing.  Sherlock wouldn’t know it until he saw it, so he couldn’t exactly look for it.

Five hands, four feet, three heads, and then eight bodies!  Sherlock had initially postulated a countdown with the first three deposits, but this last day had breached the pattern.  The initial delivery of hands had been followed at length by the feet, but the heads and torsos were discovered in a considerably shorter window.  Had the killer gotten bored with waiting for Sherlock to catch up?  Or had something else happened to make the killer change his methodology?

Sherlock was used to catching up to criminals fairly quickly.  This one, though, seemed to leap ahead each time Sherlock nearly had his thoughts organized.  He was falling further behind each day.  That was infuriating.  However, ire and exasperation would only serve to distract him.

Distractions…  He had so many these days.

Sherlock took a sip from the cup of hot tea in his hand.  Then he blinked.  When had he been holding tea?  A burst of laughter in the previously quiet room caught his attention.  John and Lestrade were back.  John.  He must have slipped the cup directly into Sherlock’s hand while all his attention was devoted to his thoughts.  Sherlock took another sip, pushing aside the wrapped pasty also left nearby.  Distraction.

John hovered over Lestrade, who had perched on a stool, rifling through a stack of papers six inches high.  The files.  He must have either fetched them from Bow Street, or, more likely, sent one of the other runners for them.  Either way, he and John had their heads bent over the stack, obviously looking for the names Sherlock had mentioned earlier.  John was standing too close to Lestrade, Sherlock thought, even as he berated himself for the bubble of emotion.  He tamped it down to an innocuous annoyance.

“John, I need your assistance with an autopsy,” Sherlock declared.

“Oh, of course.”  John clapped Lestrade on the shoulder before walking to a wall hung with hooks and borrowing a clean smock to cover his clothing.  “Anyone in particular you want to start with?”

It wasn’t likely to matter, so Sherlock chose a body at random and they started the meticulous dissection and documentation.  He drew one of his thin leather gloves over his scratched hand, not wanting to irritate the wound with chemicals or filth from the body.  Due for another trip to the glovers quite soon.  Must tell John to remind me.

He and John worked well together, Sherlock noted an hour later.  John made quick, deliberate, professional cuts into the body in front of him, as he would, and sometimes made observations on the quality of the organs or preservation from the point of view of someone who had seen this many times.  Sherlock had spent time in anatomical studies, but he had nowhere near the medical and surgical experience John had.

The body had been cut open once before and stitched back together, as if the killer wanted to glory in his own handiwork.  None of the internal organs had been damaged in any way, though the muscles of the abdominal wall had been removed to reveal what lay below and replaced.  The initial cuts through the skin had allowed the body to be lain open completely and the interior observed as in a scholarly dissection.

Both he and John marveled at the expertise with which this had all been done.  It really was quite amazing how the heart looked like it could beat at any moment, had there been any blood to circulate.  The lungs were pink and fresh and ready to draw air.  There was no scent of putrefaction at all and each organ was properly firm.  Even the dismemberment was skilled; time had been taken, amazing dexterity had been implemented.

Sherlock drew samples from within the body, bits of tissue and several volumes of liquid.  He would test these later, hopefully narrowing down the chemicals involved.  He felt he could rule out the common arsenic salts just by the quality of the preservation, but further tests were certainly required.

“Sherlock?”

He’d been lost inside his own head again, watching John’s steady hands closing up the body.  The hour was late, by the insignificant glow of the lamps, yet John had no complaint about his leg, which must be aching.  If anything, he seemed unsuitably cheerful.  They’d gone over the body with detailed precision, but found nothing that was any help at all.  Despite Sherlock’s interest in it scientifically, this was not a case to be solved in the morgue.

“Sherlock?  Did you want to examine another body?”

“No.  We can extrapolate the condition of the rest from the results.  It hasn’t provided any clues beyond the initial visual examination.  Not worth the time.”

“Very well.  So what’s next?”  John clipped off the end of the heavy thread and started tidying the area.

“Where’s Lestrade?”

“He left nearly an hour ago; did you not notice?”  John’s face held humor, but none of the biting snideness of Anderson’s similar comment.  “It is long past supper.  Speaking of which, you haven’t eaten all day.”

“Food slows me down,” Sherlock replied mechanically, moving to gather his samples together into a leather case.

“Food fuels the body and brain, Sherlock.  We’ll go home and see if Mrs. Hudson has anything to tempt you.  Really, that woman is a saint, putting up with you not appreciating her fine cooking.”

“I do appreciate it.  Just not when I’ve got a mystery to solve.”

“Well, this mystery is too complex for you to deny yourself food for the duration.  You will come home and eat.  I will not require anything else from you for the rest of the night, not sociability, nor silence, nor sleep.”

Sherlock agreed to John’s terms before the doctor finished putting away their tools and cleaning up, taking great care that they scrubbed their hands, not knowing yet what sort of chemicals were involved in embalming the bodies.  Sherlock disposed of his ruined glove.

John helped Sherlock into his greatcoat and then put on his own.  Sherlock flagged down a hack with his usual aplomb.  He directed the driver to take them to Baker Street and sat back against the bench observing John in the fluttering glow of passing gaslights.

John’s sitting slightly angled on the bench so he can stretch his bad leg out without interfering with my leg room.  His eyes are closed; he’s weary.  It has been a long day and John was up late last night taking care of me.  He didn’t complain, though, not once about being tired or pained, though he must be aching.  He should go to bed when we get home.

I want to go to bed with him.

Alarmed by his own thoughts, Sherlock gasped.  John stirred.

“Something the matter, Sherlock?”  His voice was sleepy, relaxed, slightly concerned.

“No, no,” Sherlock covered hastily.  “I only just realized that we ought to visit Irene.”

“Lady Adler?  What on earth for?”  John’s voice changed, became more tight and clipped.

“She is known for her intellectual salons.  Many men of learning cross her threshold.  She may have heard something that will be of use, some bit of information she doesn’t realize she holds.”

“Oh, I suspect the lady knows exactly which bits of information are useful to others.  She’ll want you to play her game for them.”

“Hmm, perhaps.  If we surprise her, though, she may inadvertently reveal something.”

“I should like to know what you think will surprise the lady.  Though I suppose turning up in the late evening, when she is no doubt entertaining, and scented with eau de morgue might suitably qualify.”

“We are not going now, John.  Simply arriving may do so, particularly given our interactions the last few days.  I shall think upon it.”

The hack pulled up in front of their Baker Street home.  Sherlock bounced out onto the cobbles.  John didn’t follow immediately.

“Sherlock,” his voice said hesitantly from inside the dark recess of the cab.

“Yes, John?  Oh, your leg.  Here, let me assist you.”  Sherlock half-climbed back inside and let John put a hand on his shoulder for leverage and balance.  It was awkward, but soon John was sighing at the foot of their steps.

“Will you make it up the stairs on your own?”

John paced back and forth a few minutes.  Matthews stood at the open door patiently before John felt fit enough to attempt the steps up to their door.  Sherlock couldn’t help but linger a little too closely.

“You’re threaten me with your cane like some ornery old codger, John.”

“Stop hovering, then!”

“Swear you won’t tumble down the stairs arse over teakettle and I will.”

John started to laugh, but the burst of merriment gave him the energy to make it all the way to their private rooms on the first floor.  Sherlock couldn’t help but chuckle along with him, so diverting was the sound of John’s laugh.

“Matthews, see if Mrs. Hudson can send up a small supper before Sherlock takes over the table again with his experiments.”

“I have not had time to properly set up my laboratory space, John, and the light is better upstairs anyway,” Sherlock defended.

“Heaven help the state of our sitting room,” John said, chuckling again to show he wasn’t truly piqued.

As it turned out, Mrs. Hudson had a lovely stew ready to serve almost immediately, so Sherlock set aside his case of samples forlornly and tucked into the small dinner table in the corner of their sitting room.

After a few hearty mouthfuls, John tore into the loaf of crusty bread between them.

“So you really believe Lady Adler will have some clue for us?”

“I could skulk around the scientific academies for days and learn less than I would spending an hour at Lady Adler’s.”

“No doubt,” John muttered, sopping up some of his gravy with a hunk of bread.

“Should she be forthright,” Sherlock continued, as if he hadn’t heard.

“I don’t like the idea of you going there.”

“I told you, John, she is all taunt and tease, like a cat with a mouse.”

“A cat will eventually bite the head off its prey, Sherlock.”

But John eventually acquiesced, so long as Sherlock promised to not attend Lady Adler without him present.  John stayed at the table long enough to be certain Sherlock kept his promise to eat then excused himself to bed.  When he moved past Sherlock, John rested his hand on Sherlock’s shoulder and squeezed gently.

“Goodnight, Sherlock.”

Sherlock was too distracted by the pleasant sensation that thrilled up his neck at the touch to respond.  If John thought that Sherlock was completely diverted by setting up his samples and beakers and test tubes, then that was acceptable.

Once John was gone, Sherlock let his hands fall into his lap and stared blindly at his equipment for more than a moment.  His mind spun with thoughts that had nothing to do with the paraphernalia in front of him, nothing to do with the mystery.  Instead they were muddled and all about John.  He remembered the small kiss placed on the corner of John’s mouth at their wedding ceremony, the gentle kisses he gave Sherlock that evening in the garden.  Gave, without demanding anything.  Sherlock wanted those sweet kisses again.  And he wanted to respond properly to them this time.

Damnation!  John was nothing but a complication, a vexation, an instrument of devilish temptation.  Sherlock had sworn to hold himself to much higher standards than the common man and until John, it had almost been easy.  John, all charm and kindness, John who eagerly enjoyed Sherlock’s company, John…  John, who just now, without even being present, seduced Sherlock from irritation and anger to soft sentimentality.

Sherlock sighed, defeated, and moved to set up his first experiment, one whose chemical reactions would take most of the night to develop.  He very deliberately schooled his thoughts on his upcoming tasks, reciting each step loudly in his head to overpower any other thoughts.

 

Chapter 60

 

It was hours later when Sherlock was startled away from the observations of the precipitate in one of the six test tubes in the rack in front of him.  He lifted his head to monitor the silence of the house.  Matthews and Mrs. Hudson had long since gone to bed and Sherlock had yet to see the meek little maid since his marriage, though he’d met her when he’d first moved in long enough to instruct her to never, ever, not once, not even to look, step foot in his lab.

The sound transpired again.  This time, Sherlock heard it quite distinctly.

“Please, God.”  It was a desperate entreaty, half-sobbed.  Sherlock rose without thinking anything other than, John.

The resounding crash of a considerably amount of glass shattering made him hurry.

“Get down!  Get down!  Murray, I need some help over here!”

Sherlock swung open the door.  The lit lamp still flickered by the door, thankfully, and had not set the room ablaze.  The victim had been an unlit lamp by the bed, though John was hovering precariously close to the pool of oil and glass.

“A tourniquet!” John barked from his position on the floor before he crashed to his side on the floor with a roar.

Alarmed, Sherlock flew to John’s side, desperate that he not fling himself into the glass and injure himself.

“John, John, wake up.  John Watson, it’s Sherlock.  It’s Sherlock.  We’re home in Baker Street, in London.  John!”

John’s eyes were open but unseeing.  His lips moved.  Please, God, let me live, he said, making no sound.  Please, God, let me live.

“John, John,” Sherlock begged, bringing John’s stiff body into his arms as close as possible.  “You’re alive.  You’re home.  You’re in London.”  Sherlock repeated everything he could think of to bring John out of his nightmare.  “You came home to England.  Your leg healed.  You got married four days ago.  I’m your husband, Sherlock Holmes.  You’re fine, you’re fine, I’ve got you.”

Sherlock could feel John’s heart pounding much too hard and much too quickly.  His breath came in wheezing gasps that sounded too much like Sherlock’s when he’d been strangled.

“John, you’re safe.  You healed.  You’re fine.”  Sherlock held his husband tightly and John wasn’t fighting his grasp.

“I’m not fine,” John finally uttered.  The words were weak, but they were conscious words.

“You’ll be fine,” Sherlock amended.  “You’ll be fine.  Let’s get you back to bed.”

“Can’t,” John replied, shaking his head.  Sherlock detected the strain in John’s voice.  He ran his eyes over John’s body, quickly marking the twitching and tightened muscles in his scarred leg.

“I can help.”  Sherlock laid John’s upper body back on the floor, then knelt beside him, careful of the glass nearby.  He quickly determined the muscles contributing to the worst of the pain and laid his hands on the bottom of John’s foot and the lower part of his shin.  Pressing on the calloused ball of his foot stretched out the shortened calf muscle, the gastrocnemius muscle; bearing down on his shin kept his knee straight.  He knew that John also often felt pain in the peroneus longus and brevis, the former of which had sustained some damage.

John gave a bit of a grunt, but soon let out a breath in relief.  Sherlock continued his massage, rubbing the afflicted muscles until he felt them relax.

“It’s always worst when they come together,” John said, moving his arm over his eyes.  “The pain heightens the dreams, makes them so vivid.”

“Do you want to talk about your nightmares?”

John didn’t respond.

“You were dreaming about getting injured, yes?”

“Yes.  It’s not always that, and I don’t always lash out as much.”  John moved his arm from his eyes and pushed himself up into a sitting position.  Sherlock lowered his foot to the floor and pressed his fingers into John’s leg just above his knee.  “Oh, I’ve broken the lamp.”

“Don’t worry about it.  It can be replaced.”

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No, of course not,” Sherlock replied with some curiosity.

John let himself slump down between his propped up arms.  “I gave Harry a black eye once, when I first got back.  I don’t remember it happening; I was in the grips of a fever and didn’t surface until it had healed, but he made sure to tell me.”

“He deserved it.”

Sherlock said this so mildly and matter-of-factly that John had to laugh, shaky though it was.

“Can you get back into bed now?  It’s awfully cold on the floor and you’re only in your nightshirt and drawers.”

“Yes, I think so.”  It was easy with Sherlock’s help.  He ducked under John’s arm and lifted him back onto the mattress.  The sheets and counterpane were entirely askew, so Sherlock stripped them free and remade the bed with John in it.  Then he stirred up the fire while John stared resolutely up at the ceiling.

“I could get my violin and play for you, or read aloud.  I know you like to read when you’ve woken in the middle of the night.”

“You don’t have to do that.  I’m sorry to have interrupted your…” John flickered his eyes over Sherlock, still fully dressed with the clock near to striking two, “experiments.”  It was clear he hadn’t been sleeping.  Clever John, my deductive protégé.  Sherlock almost beamed at him.

“It’s fine.  There is an occasional lull in waiting for a reaction.  Nothing will set on fire if I don’t return to it until morning.”

“Morning?”

“I wish to try another experiment, John.”  Sherlock bit on his lower lip, not quite looking at John lying so comfortably in bed looking back at him.

“What sort of experiment?”  John twisted his arm up behind his pillow, propping up his head just a little.

“Whether company in your bed helps you sleep better, or worse.”

Sherlock had kept an informal mental log of John’s sleeping habits along with the findings from his examination of his leg.  His sharp gaze could certainly ascertain the weariness in John’s eyes of a morning, the volumes John went through, and the amount of lamp oil spent to keep John aware of his surroundings in the dark of night.

“So you want to lay in bed and, what, watch me sleep?  I don’t think that will help.”

“Don’t be silly, John.  I will sleep as well.  Sympathetic somnolent sounds may be peaceful for you.”

“My tossing will keep you awake.”

“I don’t need much sleep, John.  It will be fine,” Sherlock replied quickly.  “If the experiment doesn’t help, we will cease and I’ll think of something else.  Besides, it may be handier if something like this happens again.  I will be alerted to your pain and your dreaming state and be in a position to help you much more quickly.”

John picked at the counterpane and his facial expressions betrayed his uncertainty.  Apparently, though, he could not think of a good enough reason to continue the debate, so he gave his assent.

“I’ll change into suitable nightwear and be back directly, then.”  Sherlock was glad the low yellow glow of the lamp masked his blush.  His stomach was flipping and he wasn’t certain how he would endure the hours until dawn lying stiffly in John’s bed.

 

Chapter 61

 

John woke slowly, surrounded by warmth and comfort.  He felt content to drift and doze with no pressing need to rise for the day.  He hadn’t woken so pleasantly in… goodness, it must have been years.  Before his injury when he woke with pain and nightmares, before the war when he woke to cannonballs and gunfire and the screams of young men.  It made him feel old briefly, to think of not having a pleasant rest since the years of his minority.  And even then, this luscious, languorous feeling was rare and fleeting.

Then the source of heat against John’s back shifted, awakening him to the fact that he was not alone in his cozy bed.  His heart gave a few thunderous thumps, but the rest of him remained intensely still, assessing the situation.  Sherlock.  Sherlock had climbed into John’s bed last night when John had woken in a panic, broken the unlit lamp near his bed, and had been found crouched on the floor unable to move.  The nightmares were worse than battle.  Fear of pain, he could understand, and fear of death.  The nightmares were fear in its purest form, undiluted and insurmountable, and John found them utterly debilitating.

So that led to Sherlock, quite logically, helping John into bed and back to sleep.  He said the sleep sounds of a bed partner might ease John’s unconscious mind.  And it truly helped.  John had drifted off to the sound of Sherlock’s regular breathing as he lay on his back in the bed, not sleeping but thinking, always thinking.  Though at what point Sherlock had curled up so tightly behind him, John couldn’t say.

John tried to relax, pretend he was still slumbering.  This was the most contact Sherlock had ever initiated, even if he was asleep and unaware.  It felt nice.  John wanted to imagine it meant more than just warmth on a cold night for a little while longer.  Sherlock’s warm breath on the back of his neck was pleasurable; his long fingers were splayed over John’s belly carelessly.  Sherlock’s lanky form was bent up against his, knees tucked behind John’s, groin firmly pressed against his buttocks.

And speaking of firm, Sherlock’s body was displaying a certain tumescence, though whether from dreaming or proximity to another body in bed, John couldn’t be sure.  Sherlock shifted and pressed a little closer; the resultant friction prompted a breathy sigh against John’s nape.  Sherlock’s lips were so close to John’s skin he could feel their heat.  John felt his own arousal stirring, especially when Sherlock’s fingers tightened around his waist, pulling him closer.

John felt the pleasure like a vigorous fluttering inside; when Sherlock’s lips pressed solidly against the curve of his trapezius muscle, the fluttering coalesced into a full-body shudder.  The cords of John’s neck vibrated under Sherlock’s lips much like the violin strings did under his bow and fingertips.

John’s reaction escalated when Sherlock’s fingertips slipped below John’s navel in a blatant caress.  His nightshirt had rucked up in the night; it would have left him bare from the waist down had he not decided to start wearing drawers to bed.  Sherlock’s fingers danced below the muslin of his drawers, teasing the bared skin of John’s belly.  John laced his fingers with Sherlock’s, halting the downward movement of his hand.  It wouldn’t take much more of this for John to achieve a full cockstand.

Twisting in Sherlock’s arms didn’t stop the sensual assault, but heightened it.  John’s breath caught in his throat as Sherlock’s lips brushed along his jaw, over his morning-rough cheek, and finally over John’s mouth.  Trembling, John returned the kiss.  God, those perfectly etched lips, so soft, he thought, tracing his tongue just along the moist edge.  When Sherlock’s lips engulfed his more passionately, John responded with a husky, “Sherlock,” moaned into that voluptuous mouth.

The repercussion of John’s voiced desire, however, was that Sherlock suddenly became very aware of his surroundings and he pulled back, eyes wide in alarm.

“John, I… didn’t intend for the arrangement of bed sharing to culminate in my unconscious molestation of your person.”

“Sherlock…”  But Sherlock did not allow John to voice his desire.

“No, no, the indiscretion was unforgiveable,” Sherlock blathered as he slid to the far side of the bed.  “I believe the experiment was a success up until that point.  You did not wake from further violent dreams.”  Sherlock’s face was red to his ears and down his long neck, but he kept talking, not hearing John’s pleaded repetition, “Sherlock, please, it’s fine…”

“Apparently my control grew lax as I abandoned my deductions and thought to succumb to a few hours of sleep.  I had only intended to assist in your untroubled slumber.”

“Sherlock, I didn’t want you to stop!” John shouted in his captain voice as Sherlock slid off the edge of the bed and reached for his banyan.

Sherlock’s utterances stumbled to a stop.  He blinked.

“Please, Sherlock, don’t run away,” John said in a much more tender tone.  “I want to talk about this.  Please?”  John shifted so he sat against the headboard with his pillow cushioning his back.

Sherlock wrapped the damask of his banyan around his body, but perched cross-legged on the foot of the bed facing John, the full diagonal space yawning between them.  John mused that neither of them were particularly comfortable, in multitudes of ways.  Still, he smiled.

“First I wanted to tell you that I very much enjoyed what we were doing and I would like it if we did more of that.  I feel I must be blunt.  I am attracted to you.  I want to share a bed with you.  I want to share pleasure with you.  I am aware you are not interested me the same way.”

“I should think this morning’s rather stimulating circumstance would have corrected that idiotic notion of yours, John.”

“So… you are attracted to me?”  John wanted to believe this.  Still, there was one thing that plagued John’s mind, something he had to hear refuted directly.  “But just after Victor drugged you, you said that you didn’t want me.”  John hated that his voice sounded the least bit tremulous.  He steeled himself for Sherlock’s response.

“I said no such thing.”  Well, John hadn’t been expecting that.

“I remember quite clearly.  You, on the other hand, were under the influence of a mind-altering substance.”

“I still remember what I said.  I told you that I did not want you like that, with the drug, with the situation under Victor’s control.  That is why I was going to go with him, to keep you safe.  When you came out after us, I had to muster every bit of control I had left to deflect his pin-ring.  I couldn’t bear to see you sullied with such an obscene chemical.”

While John stared at Sherlock with no response and a warm, bubbling fuzziness in his belly, Sherlock continued speaking.

“I do find myself frustratingly attracted to you.”  Sherlock admitted this in the same way a child might mutter an ashamed apology.

“Then we both want more, yes?  But if you are not ready for more, are not comfortable with that, all you have to do is tell me.”

Sherlock picked at little nothings on the counterpane.  “We both know I am no innocent, John.”

“That doesn’t matter, Sherlock.  You are not accustomed to me, and I am not accustomed to you.  We are new at being together.  There’s always a bit of awkwardness at first, but I think we could get along quite well together.”

Sherlock didn’t answer.

“Sherlock, I cannot force you to love me.  That has to happen naturally or not at all.  But I will ask you to be honest with me.”

“I’m always honest, John, unless it serves my purposes to be dishonest.”  Sherlock’s biting candor was back, if slightly subdued.

“Then can I ask why you pull away?  Do you wish to not be intimate with me?  Or at all?”

Sherlock sighed and drew his legs up and looped his arms around his knees.  His bare feet and long calves poked out from beneath the fabric and he twitched a bit of blanket over them.

“Is it some form of religious or philosophical asceticism, like Victor said?” John asked delicately.  Various men of philosophy and science were known for taking such a vow, believing that the act of releasing one’s seed would somehow diminish the functions of the brain.  This sounded far too much like Sherlock.

“John, I should think you would know me well enough by now to realize I would hardly make random vows to try and appease a fickle deity.”  Sherlock dismissed Victor’s denouncement with an appropriate amount of scorn.  “But when I left Victor, I declared myself celibate for my own reasons.  I had not considered Mycroft’s choice of spouse would be such a source of temptation.”

For all that this wasn’t precisely what John wanted to hear, he was a bit relieved.  He tempted Sherlock.  He could work with that.

“The whole business of matrimony and sentiment is perplexing, I admit that.  And sexual pleasure is most certainly a distraction from the crisp and proper workings of my mind.  It is an indecorous activity made pleasurable to ensure the propagation of the species.  I do not personally feel the urge to procreate, so I felt confident in my ability to sever myself completely from the business.

“I intended to live my life with focus and purpose, forsaking all unnecessary distractions.  I had previously allowed pleasures of the flesh to diminish me to a mindless wretch and I despised myself for it.  I had so much wasted time for which to compensate.

“And then in the midst of my intellectual restitution, I find myself in the company of a man for whom I have the most unrelenting desire.  You’re always infiltrating my thoughts.  I want to say that I ought to have solved this mystery long ago were you not constantly distracting me, only you’ve proven so helpful that I wouldn’t have recognized several important factors that you yourself have pointed out.”

“So you do like me, then.”  John tried to stifle his grin, but there was little use.

“You are a companionable man, John, and a more than adequate physician.  Surely you do not need me to tell you this,” Sherlock replied with a weak touch of condescension.

“Actually, I do.  I’ve been trying to understand what I’ve been lacking, why my husband, whom I greatly admire, turns from me when I ache to kiss him so much.  And then when he does kiss me, it is the most wonderful feeling until he soundly rejects me again.  It was shaving bloody filings off my heart, Sherlock.”

“All the more reason not to have one.”

“Sherlock Holmes, you are not heartless.”  John gave Sherlock a fond look but Sherlock ducked his head away from it.  He scrambled off the bed.

“Lestrade informed me that I need to apologize more.  I am sorry, John, for rejecting you without telling you why.”

“Come back to bed, then.”  John smiled at his husband and reclined a little more, patting the empty mattress beside him.

“Don’t be a lay-about, John, it’s half-eight.  We need to hurry if we are to catch Irene still abed.  I’ll dress and return to help you through your stretches.  Ring Matthews for breakfast, will you?”

“Why on earth would we need to catch her abed, Sherlock?”  The maddening mind of a genius certainly had a thorough method of crushing ardor.  John knew Sherlock wanted to talk to Irene about the case, but why, precisely, would that pop into his head now of all times?

“She won’t be expecting it.”

“She’s met you, Sherlock.  I think that even entering her chambers before ten in the morning will not be a surprise,” John said dryly.  Perhaps someday, when they were old men, Sherlock would cease to surprise him.

“Perhaps I shall bring a squadron of street children to breakfast?”

John was startled into laughter.  “A trifle extreme, but it would be rousing.”

 
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Posted by on April 8, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Chapters 56-58, Lazarus Machine

My word count for Regency Sherlock is 72,507 including notes, something around 67,000 for posted, finished material.  Last night, writing chapter 58, I had to go back through my chapters and take brief notes as to what happened in each one.  I also counted which days had passed so that I might have some idea how long the boys have been married by the end of this section (4 days, jeez, it’s been a BUSY four days).  I wasn’t overly fond of this housekeeping but I found I couldn’t keep the plot altogether straight in my head.  The romance is easy.  The mystery plot, not so much.

I even found in doing this that I’d introduced a plot bunny and then completely forgotten it.  I honestly would have gone on to finish the story (after a few weeks/months) and just never mentioned it again.  Which is funny, in a way, but also a good reason to have a central outline, whether done before or after the writing of the chapters.  Helps keep track of what happened and what you need to do yet.

At any rate, I finished my chapter, started a little of the next (and the chapter after that is mostly written already mainly because I just really wanted to write that scene) so perhaps it won’t be ten days until I post another chapter!  I can’t believe how long it takes sometimes.  I really need to be better at writing on days I work.  It’s hard, though, because either I work early and don’t get enough sleep and I’m tired, or I sleep in and just putter around until it’s time to get ready for work.

I also want to add a project.  I want to Camp NaNoWriMo my Ethne story, finish it up and get it ready to publish.  Goals are helpful!  Not quite sure how I’m going to divvy up the daily goals.  Maybe 2000 words a day, since it is editing, and post the sections in a new file to keep track.  I’m not starting it today, though, since I’m yawning and have to be up for work in five hours.  At least most of the really hard work is already finished, the writing.  Not that editing is easy, but it’s not quite as terrifying as creating completely new content.

Also had some fun research tidbits pop up doing chapter 58.  In 1815, bodies generally weren’t embalmed and when they were, it was using poisonous chemicals that would be fairly harmful to those that worked with the bodies after, like medical students.  Modern American embalming methods arrived just as the American Civil War started, developed by a man named Thomas Holmes (b. 1817).  None of my research really talks about European embalming and it really wasn’t something I needed to know anyway.  :)

Also, receiving houses are places set up by the Royal Humane Society along bodies of water like the Thames.  Attendants were trained in resuscitation and would try and revive victims of drowning, whether accidental or intentional.

Anyway, since this section of chapters is rather long, I’ll stop yammering.  Um, Chapter 56 is smutty.  Forewarned is forearmed.  :)

 

Chapter 56

Sherlock gripped himself firmly once John’s footsteps down the stairs ceased to be audible.  His hand worked his cock quite efficiently, taking only minutes to relieve the pressure that had built up.  Momentarily, the pleasure whited out his mind.  When his eyes blinked open again, Sherlock felt more ireful than sated.  He cleaned himself with the soft cloth John had left for him then threw it across the room.  That Mycroft was downstairs proved Matthews was a well-paid minion of Mycroft’s, though that was no surprise.  Let Matthews find the defiled cloth in the morning.

Previously, Sherlock had always felt much more amiable on the drug – of course, he had never deliberately denied himself pleasure while imbibing, either.  The effects of abstinence were insufferable.  However, the thought of indulging was inconceivable.

So, intermittent self-release was clearly the only course of action.  This is infuriating, intolerable, unforgivable, Sherlock seethed.  The aftereffect of climax in his condition was a blessed moment of clarity, a brief respite before the agonizing desire ramped up again.  The cold lucidity wouldn’t last long, however, and in between, he’d soon begin to deteriorate into little more than a mindless beast.

This was the very reason Sherlock had deliberately shunned Victor and his drug – the constant arousal, the senseless drive of lust, the glee Victor had displayed when preparing the injection.  Sherlock had seen himself becoming little better than an animal, consumed by a maelstrom of carnal lust and rutting between any set of legs Victor opened before him.  It had taken too long to recognize Victor’s depraved divinity over Sherlock, the puppet for pleasure.  He’d been so stupid.

But John, John tended to him, stubbornly ignoring every shout, every insult, every declaration that Sherlock wanted to be left alone.  He didn’t see this loss of control as entertainment or a sign of Sherlock’s weakness.  He understood how this is an attack – how it had always been an attack even when it was self-inflicted.  And most importantly, he was not taking advantage.

Mycroft, his own brother, would have simply locked a couple of prostitutes in the room and let Sherlock shout abuse at them or indulge as he saw fit.  He would not have been caring.  He would have been disappointed in Sherlock’s failings.  He was likely downstairs voicing his disapproval this very minute.

Why was John behaving as he was?  Concerned.  Doting, even.  Sherlock pondered John’s own recent illness.  Clearly he recalled his own need for comfort in his distress, appreciated being cossetted, cared for.  Still, it seemed a trifle unlikely; John had burst out in a temper when Sherlock had pandered to John’s bad leg too much.  So what was the reason?

And John was being so insufferably kind.  Really, it was the most horrid thing.

But John’s presence was comforting; it was the only reason Sherlock had not yet gone mad.  John’s gentle voice distracted him from the burning in his veins, the heartbeat that seemed to throb outside of his body, the desperate feeling of dozens of hands all over his body.  The cool water John bathed him with eased the feverish symptoms, if only slightly, and made Sherlock feel warm in an entirely other way.

And why was he thinking about John anyway?  It was unlike Sherlock for his thoughts to be consumed by another person – not a criminal or a puzzle, that is.

It’s the drug, it’s all the drug, Sherlock tried to convince himself.  He wasn’t really enamored of John.  He didn’t really require John to smile at him, to assist him, to work by his side, to listen to his deductions.  He certainly didn’t want invite the man to his bed, rut with him insensibly, hear his moans and gasps of pleasure, hear that soothing voice crack when panting, “Sherlock.”  No, he didn’t want that at all; he needed it.

Sherlock heard John’s footsteps pause outside the door to his room.  John was apparently listening since the pause between his final footfall and his soft rap at the door was more than generous.

“It’s fine, John.”  Sherlock was in his finest sulk.  Not only was he stuck in bed, useless and unable to focus on anything but the sensations fogging his body, but he was embarrassed.  He was never embarrassed.  Annoyed, yes.  Indignant, wrathful, incensed, even, but not embarrassed.

John walked into the room, moving first to the fireplace where he shifted the coals around.  The firelight haloed him from Sherlock’s perspective.  He had removed his jacket while he was gone, left it in his room with Matthews most likely, and now exposed his shirt sleeves and his cream and gold waistcoat to Sherlock’s hungry eyes.  The winking golden threads reminded Sherlock of John’s hair, fair and glinting in the sun.  Sherlock saw himself bracing John against the wall, the man glowing in front of him like an idol.  He knelt behind him, worshipping him.  He could almost feel John’s firm arse in his hands.  He could feel the curve of it against his cheek as Sherlock poked his nose underneath that waistcoat to snuffle at the small of his back.

Sherlock blinked rapidly and took a deep breath.  The vision faded away and John stood there with a rather worried expression.

“I’m fine,” Sherlock assured.  “Hallucinations starting.”

John hid the worried crease of his brow, ducking his head, and moved to the desk to write this down very carefully.

“What did you see?”

“Irrelevant,” Sherlock answered.

John did not respond.  He carefully checked Sherlock’s temperature with his hand before laying the cool cloth on Sherlock’s forehead out of their established time frame.  Sherlock didn’t argue.

Sherlock went over the hundreds of details of the found and missing people in his head, trying to keep his mind occupied, going over and over each detail of the body parts being strewn so deliberately along the Thames, until the symptoms became too much.  Then he tried cataloguing each symptom and its intensity, dictating to John a scale of numbers which John dutifully recorded at the little writing desk.  Hopefully his observations wouldn’t be a hopeless jumble by morning, the ranting of a madman.

He ignored the needs of his body as much as possible, trying not to writhe against the sheets to pacify his over-sensitive skin, trying not to feel the discomfort, nor respond to the soothing pleasure of John’s repeated cool bathing of his forehead, neck and shoulders.

John read aloud for a while, and that was pleasant, when Sherlock could not direct his own mind anymore.  He could focus on that soft voice, the delighted hum that he added when something was amusing or ridiculous.  But there came a point in the night when even that was too much and the innocuous words seemed to float over his skin and the voice caressed him, blew softly in his ear, entered the most vulnerable parts of him.  He tried to beg John to stop, to be quiet, to leave him to his sensual misery, but he wasn’t sure if John heard him or if he’d just been babbling and moaning.

Sherlock wanted John in here with him, except that he didn’t.  Really, his mind was so horribly abuzz, how could he know what he wanted?  John gave Sherlock periods of privacy once an hour, discreet even in the leaving of a small jar of silky lotion on Sherlock’s bedside table.  Sherlock missed his calm presence when he was gone.  Still, he wouldn’t meet eyes with John when he returned, ashamed in his lucidity.  They did not speak of what happened in the interim.

Sherlock dozed for a short while sometime after the downstairs clock struck eleven, and when he woke, he demanded of John, “Have you been checking every fifteen minutes, John?”

“I let you sleep.  It seemed to… disturb you if I touched you too much.  You need to rest.”

John laid a cool hand on Sherlock’s forehead again before bathing away the heat and sweat.  Despite the sweat, he felt dry, so dry, like every drop of liquid was being forced from his body.  John made him drink each time he checked his pulse, but Sherlock imagined he would have to take a bath and let every inch of his skin drink in the water from the tub before he’d be satiated from his thirst.

“I’m awake now.”  Sherlock imperiously held out his arm for John to take his pulse.  When John had recorded his results and checked Sherlock’s pupils with the aid of a lamp, he bathed Sherlock’s forehead with fresh, cool water which Matthews must have brought up while Sherlock was asleep.  The radiating chill and clean scent overwhelmed Sherlock’s senses for a second.  If he reacted outside his own head, though, John showed no sign of it.  He merely wiped the sweat from Sherlock’s face and neck and replaced Sherlock’s damp, flat pillow with a cool, fresh one.  John’s pillow.  Sherlock buried his face in it and breathed in the scent of his husband.  He wanted nothing more than to do the same to John himself.

Sherlock tugged the sheet loose from the other covers and rolled himself up in it.  The fabric pulled tight against his skin – if he shut his eyes and let his mind truly wander, he could imagine it was another body pressed against his.  John’s.  No real point fighting it, though he still tried.

His fevered, drugged mind took hold of the fantasy and John was right there next to him.  Had Sherlock fallen asleep and woken to find John taking a well-deserved nap in his bed?  No, when Sherlock opened his eyes, he saw two of him.  Hallucination, then.  John the doctor had fallen asleep in the chair at Sherlock’s bedside, fully dressed with his robe wrapped over his waistcoat and shirt sleeves; he’d donned the robe as the night chilled.  John the lover was in Sherlock’s bed, bare and smiling.  He pressed against Sherlock’s back, arm around Sherlock’s chest holding him tight, giving kisses and little nips on the back of Sherlock’s neck.

Each little touch sent sparks through Sherlock’s body.  There was no mind now, no thoughts to interrupt the pure feeling.  John was pressed up to him; John was kissing him; John’s hand was stroking over his chest, his belly, lower and there was only John.  Sherlock turned to John, unable to resist kissing that clever mouth, tasting him, swallowing the other man’s moans and whimpers of pleasure.

Sherlock touched John like he could never touch him enough.  His hands skimmed over bare skin, firm muscle, scars, yes, even the scars on his leg.  Beautiful, so beautiful.  But John’s eyes were the most captivating.  Pale blue irises surrounded open, dark pupils.    They were crinkled at the corners from marching in the sun and from general good humor.  John’s eyes fluttered closed when Sherlock kissed him, opened to follow Sherlock as he moved to kiss John’s neck, shoulder, chest.

Sherlock pushed him flat against the bed, and John accepted Sherlock’s weight above him.  Their heated fumblings pushed Sherlock’s drawers down over his hips; once freed, Sherlock pressed his erect cock against John’s.  John’s moan of pleasure brushed against him like a sultry summer breeze.

John’s thighs rose around Sherlock’s hips as he thrust down against John.  Splayed beneath him, wrecked with pleasure, whimpering – John was as gorgeous a creature as Sherlock had ever seen.  He needed him, needed all of him, needed to be inside of him.  Sherlock abandoned his desperate movements to slip a finger into John, then two.  John urged him to hurry; he was as impassioned and frantic as Sherlock.  Sherlock eased inside with no more lubricant than was provided by his pre-come.  John didn’t seem to mind.  He implored Sherlock to move, that he couldn’t hold off, that he needed Sherlock.

Sherlock needed John, too.  And now he had him.

John’s hard cock rubbed between their bellies as Sherlock rocked into him.  Sherlock breathed hard against John’s skin, covering him so close and tight that he finally understood the ‘beast with two backs.’  They were one being together, writhing and grunting and moaning, but most importantly, one.

It ended too quickly, though the climax shuddered through Sherlock for long moments until he thought he wouldn’t be able to stand another wave.

“John, John,” Sherlock cried out, rutting against the rumpled sheets.  The empty sheets.  The lover John had disappeared and the doctor John was beside the bed to comfort him.

“Shh, I’m here, I’m right here.”  John must have woken from Sherlock’s exclamations of passion.  He was warm and sleep-rumpled, but he stood by the side of the bed quickly.  He soothed Sherlock with a cool wet cloth on his forehead, his neck, his chest.  What Sherlock wouldn’t give for that same treatment by John’s lips, but he can’t have that.  His breathing calmed as John bathed him, stroked light fingers over his brow and along the delicate skin beneath his eyes to judge his temperature – still elevated, but improved.  Hopefully, the drug’s effects would soon abate.

John untangled the sheet from Sherlock, stripped him of the linen drawers he’d managed to wear the entire night.  He cleaned Sherlock emissions most professionally and Sherlock lay still, unable to assist or resist.  Then John covered Sherlock with a clean, dry sheet and a thin quilt and sat down, eyes firmly on the pages on the writing desk.

Reality came to Sherlock as he surfaced from the fever-dream.  He rolled over, facing away from John’s patience and kindness.  Knowing John, feeling him wrapped around him, hot and welcoming, had been so gut-wrenchingly real.  He wanted John, every bit of John, but he doesn’t want this hormone-driven, lust-addled life.  He’d put it all aside, filled himself with the purity of the work.  The work had been enough, until John.  Now it would never be enough.

Despair.

 

Chapter 57

 

A faint knock at the door woke Sherlock.  The sun was beating against the drawn curtains; it was an unusually sunny day for this time of year in London.  A strong wind rattled the shutters just as Sherlock noted that there must be one to rid the city of the ever-hanging fog and smoke.

John slept on, oblivious to the sun and the visitor at the door.  He was going to be sore and stiff when he awoke, having slept in the chair all night.  He had his robe on and his feet propped up on the edge of Sherlock’s bed.  At some point, John had found a blanket as well, or Matthews had draped one over him.  Despite his uncomfortable position, he was sleeping peacefully.

Sherlock wrapped himself in his clean sheet and went to the door to keep Matthews from rapping again and waking John.  Matthews looked none the worse this morning for likely having been awake as late as John or later, ready to assist if needed or run any errand.  Sherlock made a shushing gesture and stepped into the hall.

“Mr. Lestrade is downstairs, sir.  He says it’s more than urgent.”

Sherlock ignored Matthews’ surprised, “Sir!  Your clothes, Mr. Holmes!” and flew down the two flights of stairs in nothing but his improvised toga.

Lestrade was in the public parlor waiting, pacing to be more precise.  He wasn’t taken aback by Sherlock’s dishabille, but intensely worried.

“Did another note arrive?”

“That’s not why I’m here, but yes.”  Lestrade handed Sherlock the folded and sealed sheet of paper.  Sherlock wasted not a second before he broke the seal and read the contents.

The three I freed cannot tell tales.

You won’t catch me before another ship sails.

“What does it say?”

Sherlock wordlessly handed over the paper.  He glared at Lestrade when the runner snorted, but Lestrade was not amused.

“It’s right, Holmes.  We’ve found at least eight bodies this morning, torsos, vivisected.  Lord Almighty, was that another whistle?”  Lestrade rubbed his hand through his hair.  “The watchmen are frantic this morning.  It’s one thing for a suicide or two to wash up, or a few frozen vagrants in the dead of winter, but this… this is…”  Lestrade cut off.

“No time to waste, Lestrade.  Where have they been finding the bodies?”  Before Lestrade could respond, Sherlock called out the doorway, “Matthews, clothes!”

“Three were found on the stairs to the Thames, much like the others, and one was propped up against a receiving station, but no one saw anything until the watch walked by at the six o’clock mark.  The others have been found in busy places.  I’ve every constable and runner I can contact searching for witnesses, but it’ll be hours before we have anything useful along that line.”

“I hope your colleagues have been keeping detailed notes on which body was found when and where.”

“We’re doing our level best, Holmes, to keep everything in proper order.”

“And the bodies are being transported to a central location?”

“Bart’s.  If we run out of slabs, there are surgical theaters.”  Sherlock nodded swiftly, finding relief that his mind seemed to be functioning properly this morning.  He would have an immense amount of data to categorize today and he couldn’t waste any more time on inconvenient bodily functions.

When Matthews appeared with a stack of clean clothing, Sherlock unwrapped his sheet and pulled the billowy shirt over his head and the drawers up over his bum with haste.

Seeing nothing he hadn’t seen before dealing with Holmes, Lestrade exited the parlor calmly and stood in the hall.

“Oh, good morning, Dr. Watson.”

Sherlock paused, almost flinched.  He quite deliberately pulled on his trousers and focused on tucking his shirt in.  Matthews fussed with his braces.

John made his way slowly down the steps.  “Good morning, Mr. Lestrade.  I take it there has been some progress in the case?”

“I’ll let your husband fill you in on the way to Bart’s.  Sherlock will have need of your medical expertise, I imagine, with the sheer number of bodies turning up.”

Sherlock swatted Matthews away from his neck cloth and tied it haphazardly himself while entering the hall.

“I will need to examine every body personally, Lestrade.”

“Of course, Holmes.  I’ll make sure they’re kept in state as much as possible.  Gentlemen.”  Lestrade ducked his head in adieu and flew out the door, his coat tails flapping behind.

Sherlock was all aflutter, with Matthews following in his wake trying to finish dressing him.

“I must fetch some of my surgical equipment from upstairs.  No, no, Matthews, I’ll get them.  It’ll take longer to explain what I want.”  Sherlock lunged up half the staircase, but John shifted minutely to block his ascent further.

“How are you feeling this morning?”

“Fine, fine!  Move aside!  There’s no time to waste.  I’m sure evidence has been lost simply because I overslept.”

Sherlock moved to the side, but John caught his face with his hands.  Sherlock was still two steps below John, putting John a head higher than him for once.  Those hands touched his neck, his face, his forehead, stroked his cheek.  For a brief second, Sherlock enjoyed the warmth and comfort of those tender hands before jerking out of John’s gaze and reach and retreating down one step.

“I’m fine, John!  The drug has fully metabolized.”  He wouldn’t look at John; his face flamed anyway.

“Very well, Sherlock.  But if you feel the least bit odd or ill, tell me.”  John didn’t quite look like he believed him, but he seemed satisfied enough with his brief examination.

“I will, John.  Now let me pass.  I’ve got to find the equipment I’ll need to bring along to Bart’s.”

John shifted aside to let Sherlock bound by.

“When you’re finished chasing after Sherlock, I’ll be needing a change of clothes as well, Matthews.”

“Yes, sir.”

Sherlock was heading back down the stairs before John had crested the first floor landing.

“I have no time for your leg this morning, John, so you’ll have to catch up.”

John’s voice was hollow as he responded, but Sherlock did not register the change as he pulled on his greatcoat at the foot of the stairs.

“Do you even wish for me to go to Bart’s?”

“I need an assistant, John, or I may well throttle Anderson by the end of the day!”

Sherlock was out the door before John could say another word, leaving him behind yet again.

 

 

Chapter 58

 

When John arrived at the morgue at St. Bart’s hospital less than a half hour behind Sherlock, he was surprised by the crush of people in the morgue itself, in the hall, bustling back and forth outside.  What he wasn’t surprised by was Sherlock’s bellow for every unnecessary personage to immediately exit the room so he could think.

John hated that this made him hesitate about going in.  Yesterday, last night, had been a disaster.  John had been able to put aside Sherlock’s blunt rejection of him due to medical necessity and common decency, but in the daylight, he felt awkward.  Sherlock had made himself clear.  And this morning on the stairs, Sherlock didn’t even want John touching him long enough to check his temperature, much less the bruising on his neck from being strangled.

John wasn’t sure quite what Sherlock wanted him to be.  He seemed amiable enough to John’s company, had spent whole days taking him around Town.  John would even go so far as to say that they seemed very well suited for each other.  But Sherlock judged him wanting in some way, and that grieved John more than he wanted to admit.

Really, John, you’re too damn sensitive where Sherlock is concerned, he scolded himself.  What happened to patience and learning where you two fit in each other’s lives?  You haven’t even been married a week yet.  He needed to try and be happy providing assistance and companionship if that was all Sherlock wanted.  Just be near him, just care for him.  Be his friend.

And maybe one day your heart will stop jumping at the sound of Sherlock’s voice or the sight of his lips.  

John took a deep breath, straightened his back, and pushed against the tide of people exiting the morgue.  Lestrade had said something about a quantity of bodies, and Sherlock had acquiesced that he would need an assistant.  There was no time for this self-pity and wallowing.  No time for longing and whinging.

John stood to one side of the door, watching for Sherlock’s head to bob above all the others.  Once again, his voice made him known before the sight of him emerged.

He was in a proper flurry, in his element, dashing from slab to slab and several wheeled tables which had been commandeered to hold extra and various dismembered pieces of smaller dimension.  The tails of his coat flared out behind him as he rushed about the room.  His dark curls, not properly tamed before he left the house, were charmingly unruly from the rough night and the morning breeze.

“John, excellent, you’re finally here.  Start a file for each body; interview the watchmen standing by each slab and take special note of where each body was found and in what position.  Note the compass direction as well when you make a sketch.”

John hadn’t even realized Sherlock noticed him entering the room, but he shed his greatcoat and began his assigned task, relieved that Sherlock apparently welcomed his presence.  He found sheets of paper and ink on the desk where he’d napped a few nights before their wedding.  He progressed to the nearest slab, where the watchman present looked the youngest and most uneasy, and started his notes.

The man had simply been doing his rounds without any alert called or distress from the few people out in the wee hours.

“It were quiet, sir, like usual in the stillness of the morn.  I almost wouldn’t have noticed the body except that it was set right in the glow of a gaslight.”  He answered John’s questions succinctly, quite professional for one so youthful, but John noted he kept his eyes specifically on either John or the far wall and never on any of the bodies in the room.  “On its… his back.  South, mainly, towards the river.  Well, the river bends, don’t it, so pointed towards the Thames, but not towards the nearest bank of it.”

John also took note of anything else that came to mind, including the man’s name and address, time on the job and whether this was his normal shift and beat.  He took rudimentary notes on each body to connect it to the watchman and location, so even if the papers got confused later, they could be properly sorted.  He moved on to the next watchman, and the next, and the room gradually began to clear.

The constant work cleared John’s mind, much like surgery after surgery often made him forget about the bloody battle raging less than a mile away.

Even as the number of people in the room dwindled, the room still seemed awfully crowded with even just the bodies present, not considering the morgue staff, himself, Sherlock, and Lestrade.  Sherlock was moving from body to body, sometimes prodding lightly with gloved hands or moving the odd still-attached limb, still working through his cursory examinations.  Lestrade was doing his best to coordinate everyone and kept running to the hallway and back, taking reports and talking quite seriously to the occasional government official.

“John, are you done yet?” came Sherlock’s imperious voice over the conversation with the last of the watchmen.

“Nearly.  Just want to get this last sketch verified before I send Mr. Abbey on his way.”

“Well, hurry, then, and we’ll get started examining the bodies.”

John nodded, turning back to the watchman and his notes.  He made a few changes to the position of the body in his sketch, propped up as it was against the receiving station near the Thames, then thanked the watchman for his time and dismissed him to speak to Lestrade on his way out.

“So, John, shall we go through the bodies chronologically as to when they were found, geographically north to south, or east to west, or just take the nearest slab and have a go?”  Sherlock winked at John cheekily, any residual ill humour from the night before long faded.  The gesture prompted John to smile in return.

“Oh, let’s go chronologically.”  John shuffled the papers in his hands and led Sherlock to a particular slab.  Sherlock brought along a lamp, though the sun still lit the room sufficiently.  “Three-forty-five, Salisbury Square.”

“Not far from Blackfriar’s Bridge.”  Sherlock hummed, glancing at the map Lestrade had tacked to the wall.  The runner had marked the location of each body with a T-pin.  Sherlock nodded sharply once he had apparently fixed in his memory the particular body with its mark on the map.

John hastened to show Sherlock the sketch he had drawn of the body’s position relative to nearby landmarks and compass directions.  Sherlock scanned through the report and then began to examine the body itself.

Like the others that had been found that morning, the body was removed of both clothing and extremities.  In most cases like this, if there had been any other cases like this, unless the victim had some particular scar or birthmark, the body would go unidentified.

“Seven distinct skin discolorations on the ribs, back and left thigh.  One scar on right hip, barely visible, consistent with a fall as a child off a short wall or lower limb of a tree.  No other wounds, no scarring from disease, slight excess weight carried mostly around the waist, firm musculature otherwise.”  John took careful note of each observation.  Sherlock bent close to examine a few tiny puncture marks along the neck tissue.

“Does the body smell unusual to either of you?” he asked, frowning.

Lestrade raised his eyebrow in a manner that said he was trying his best not to smell anything.  But John leaned forward to take the barest whiff.  Those unused to the smells in the morgue were typically relieved by camphor or other strong unguent rubbed beneath the nose, but none of the men, even those watchmen who were ill at ease, had requested such a thing.  Wait, camphor…

“Sherlock, have you noticed that Anderson has not offered us any camphor for the smell?”

“It is unlikely that he’d offer to do so, John, as he resents my intrusion on a normal day, much less under such extraordinary circumstances.  Besides, it is unnecessary.”  Sherlock gave John a questioning look, as if the doctor was admitting he needed such a thing.

“With a roomful of bodies whose time of death has yet to be determined, though they were found hours ago, in places all around the city and some by the Thames?  Even If they all died in the last twenty-four hours, which seems unlikely due to the extent of the pure butchery the bodies have undergone, there would be more than a faint chemical smell emanating from them.”

Sherlock raised an eyebrow, sniffed again, then resolutely and methodically sniffed each body in turn.

“Clever John,” muttered, his face closing down as he added the new information to all that which was swirling around in his brain.  “I would be interested to know the formula used to so thoroughly embalm the victims.”

“Could be Ruysch’s liquor balsamicum preservative, or something similar,” John suggested.

“He took his formula to the grave eighty-four years ago, John, and his methods were not widely copied.  And I’m not even certain that his results were quite so pristine,” Sherlock argued, but his tone and smile indicated he was surprised and more than pleased with his husband’s knowledge.  John flushed and ducked his head.  “We shall have to take further samples to see if we can isolate the preservative.”

“Is it similar to the scent of the man from the other night?”

Sherlock considered, sniffing again and rolling the scent around in his memory.

“There are a few notes of similarity, but I suspect this formula was created for a different intent.  Still, such a master of mortuary chemistry!  There is only the slimmest chance that the two formulas are unrelated.”

Sherlock bent over the body again, examining all the raw edges in detail.  John scratched out notes as quickly as he could, trying to keep up with Sherlock’s quick and incessant deductions.

“This quality of preservation calls into question my deductions about the hands and feet we recovered.  I had thought they had been removed close in time, but it now seems entirely possible that each victim could have been killed quite close to the date of abduction.  Between the cool weather and this excellent preservative, these corpses could remain in state for weeks or perhaps months, if not longer.”  Sherlock gestured for John to assist him and the two of them rolled the body on the slab to its side.  “I also believe we can make a reasonable deduction of identity, at least of this particular body.”

“Really?  That’s amazing!” John blurted out.  Sherlock lifted his head for a mere moment.  “Sorry, do go on.”

“It’s fine.”  Sherlock shook himself and resumed.  “I believe this man to be Liam O’Malley.  Lestrade, you’ll have to check the files in your office; I believe I initially set this one aside as I did not believe any of the limbs we found belonged to him, but this scar is mentioned in the missing person’s report.”

Lestrade noted the name in a small notebook with a stub of pencil.

“Next!”  Sherlock looked at John expectantly.  John flipped through his papers and led Sherlock to a female body.

“Four twenty-five.  Guilford Street near the Foundling Hospital.  Shoulders oriented towards the north.  This particular location is on regular patrol, so it’s certain that the body appeared within an hour of being found.”

“Were any of the other timeframes pinpointed so precisely?”

“No, this was the only one that was directly in the regular path of the watch.  The ones not along the Thames were in trafficked areas.  The body at the receiving station was the penultimate discovery; the man on duty heard nothing to signal its arrival and only happened upon it when he went out for a piss.”

“Probably slept through the night sound as a child rather than keeping watch.  South end of the Waterloo Bridge?”

John confirmed this with a nod.

They continued this way through the morning and well past the noon hour, going through each of the bodies in turn.  John continued to be astounded at Sherlock’s ability to connect the subtlest markings with the files he’d read in Lestrade’s office several days past.  Lestrade had a great deal of work ahead of him, between informing the families and interviewing each again about the last days of their loved ones.

“It is unfortunate that the time of disposal cannot be properly pinpointed.  However, we must expect a logical progression through the city.  Lestrade, have your men keep their ears out for descriptions of a wagon or other conveyance travelling in an east-to-west manner between these points.  That would be the most logical progression, given the discovery times and the methods of the watch.”

All three men knew that little would likely come of that.  A wagon going through the streets of London, even in the middle of the night, would bring little attention to itself.

“What is unusual is why these victims were chosen,” Sherlock mused.  “They were people that would be missed; in many cases, almost immediately.  If one was looking for test subjects and did not want to be discovered, there are legions of beggars on the streets.  Few would be missed, and those that were would have no family of means able to search for them.

“Also, the dumping of the bodies stretched over miles, all over Town, with no connection between them.  Why not just dispose of them all at once?  What is the pattern here, the meaning?”

“Were the bodies found near where they were taken, by any chance?”

“Hmm, no,” Sherlock answered after reorganizing the information in his head.

“Whoever it is clearly wants to be discovered, or is playing some kind of game of terror with the city.  After today, there will be no keeping the news from the papers.  Too many witnesses,” Lestrade sighed.  He was not looking forward to the panic this case would bring by the evening editions.

“What?  Be discovered and surely hanged for the crime?”

“Be legend.  Prove his genius,” John said.

Lestrade snorted.  “You know all about showing off, Sherlock.  That motivation cannot come as a surprise.”

Sherlock gave Lestrade a most disgusted look, distracted from his glare only when John patted his arm.

“I think it’s time for a break, Sherlock.  Man cannot live on crimes and puzzles alone.”

“Do not bastardize proverbs, John, to excuse your stomach.”

John did not take this personally; after all, his stomach had been distracting him an hour now.  He smiled and patted Sherlock’s shoulder.

“Shall I bring something back for you?”

“I don’t eat when I’m working.  But do take a break.  Your leg must be paining you.”

“Some tea, at least, Sherlock.”

Sherlock hummed a non-response and moved to another slab.  He carefully extracted a sample from the body and brought it to a microscope near the window.

John took the cold-shoulder with grace and left the room with Lestrade.

Lestrade nudged John in the hallway.  “Well done in there, even if Himself won’t acknowledge it.  But just so you know, I’ve never once known him to trust the questioning of witnesses to another person.  Not even myself.”

John isn’t quite sure how to answer that at first.  Had Sherlock paid him a veiled compliment in trusting him?  “Perhaps he was just overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information to be collected that he was forced to delegate.”

“If you feel the need to believe that, Dr. Watson, go ahead.  But I suspect something else entirely.”

 
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Posted by on April 2, 2013 in Writings

 

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Rough week, (massive amounts of) self-pity and Russians.

Numerically interesting as it was, my anniversary blog entry was also my 50th entry here.  However, it really was so depressing, and the ensuing week so depressing, that I hesitated to post anything else.  This is more depressing, self-pitying shit.  You’ve been warned.  Skip down about two thirds of the way if you’d rather just read the good news.  I do have some, I promise.

At the beginning of March, I came down with a horrible toothache.  After stress with finding a dentist, insurance, and other things I’ve been putting off, it came down to me having to have the tooth pulled in three weeks time, after the infection was handled.  I was in pain several more days until the antibiotics kicked in, leaving me taking much more ibuprofen and acetaminophen than was strictly healthy.  I have a fairly high pain tolerance, but my jaw hurt from my chin to my ear and the constancy of it was just grinding me down.

Still, the pain faded, and when the appointment at the end of the month came around, I thought I was okay with pulling the tooth.  Until I was actually in the dentist chair.  It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but I was numbed up plenty and, aside from the shots, it didn’t really hurt.  They took out the molar and asked if I wanted to remove the wisdom tooth on that side as well since I was all numbed up already.  I shook my head, and also refused the bone graft I would need if I was going to get an implant to replace the tooth.  I could feel myself beginning to get anxious, the kind where I flee and lock myself in my room for as long as humanly possible.  It’s been a good while since I’ve been that bad because, living alone, I can hide in my whole apartment.

I managed to pay my bill, make my next appointment, and get into the car before sobbing.

As I said, I wasn’t in pain.  Even after the numbing shots wore off, I wasn’t really in pain.  I probably took six ibuprofen in the four days following when I had a scrip I didn’t even fill for Tylenol with codeine.  So it wasn’t the pain, not physically.  But in my head, I was freaking traumatized.  It was part there-is-a-permanent-part-of-my-face-that’s-just-been-ripped-out-of-my-head and part gross-disgusting-toothless-mess-loser.  Any self-esteem I had over anything at all was completely gone.  I was broken.

I drove myself home and crawled into bed.  I’d only gotten a few hours of sleep the night before but disgusting-hole was bleeding so I didn’t really want to sleep right then anyway.  A friend of mine had lent me a dvd set of an anime series.  I told her I’d give it a try, even though neither manga or anime are really my thing.  Occasionally the drawing style can be cool, but I suppose I feel too old for it.  Because in my head I am, and have always been, about eighty-four.

Of course, I watched the entire first season straight through and whined until she found the second season online for me.  She also hastily recommended a companion series.  I did little else for two days.  This was in part because my Johnlock obsession apparently makes me partial to yaoi anime and partly because it was a fantastic distraction from the gross-me-disgusting feelings I had every time I turned it off.

I should not know, at eighty-four mental years, what yaoi means, nor seme and uke.  (Seriously, I had to look the conventions of the category up because it’s got some pretty specific rules that were obvious even in the very little I watched.)

Anyway, I’d taken a couple of days off work because I wasn’t sure how bad I would feel and I didn’t really want to feel bad at work or call in sick.  I spent the better part of my time in bed, mostly watching anime but sometimes writing.  I’ve been very bad about the writing this month.  First I was miserable and couldn’t think for a whole minute straight, then I puttered about with it and didn’t get nearly as far as I would have liked to.  I wanted to have my Huntsman story done, for instance, but that hasn’t happened yet.  It keeps getting to 9 days or more between posting updates.  I think Huntsman went almost a month.

I just topped 70,000 words on my Regency Sherlock story, which does make me happy.  Until, of course, I had to go through it tonight to find out what I’d said about the plot so that I didn’t contradict myself or forget a hastily devised plot point that would have simply left an open hole (much like the one in my mouth) as I finished the story without ever revisiting the outcome of that chapter.  Ahem.  Seventy thousand words and 58 chapters is an awful lot to skim through and take notes on.

Oh, and Russians.  Because I had to look at my title to remind myself that I did have a HAPPY thing to post today.  Perhaps I should have started with this so that people wouldn’t be sick of my self-indulgent bullshit long before I got to mention it.  A few weeks ago, someone contacted me through both FF.net and AO3 and asked if she could translate Lazarus Machine into Russian and post it.  At first I didn’t reply, not really knowing how that would work and what would be expected of me, but finally I said, sure, go ahead.  I mean, it’s not like I can be screwed out of royalties or anything since it’s just for fun.  So here it is:  http://ficbook.net/readfic/693739.  Six chapters are up so far, I think.

I do have to admit, it is a little exciting to translate the page and see the (horribly indecipherable) comments translated into some form of English.  I mean, all writers are comment-whores at heart, are we not?  So 49 extra comments from the other side of the planet from people who never would have read it since it was only in English?  Bonus.  So that did brighten my day a little.  So thank you ukatan92/ummi for the massive amount of hard work I see in your future.

This entry is definitely disjointed, and I could have more to say (whine more, it’s never ending) but I think I’m going to leave it as is.  Next entry will be a few Regency Sherlock chapters to make up for all the rest of this.  :)

 
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Posted by on April 1, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Happy Anniversary! Just kidding, don’t read this depressing damn post.

I was informed as I logged into WordPress today that it is my second anniversary with WordPress!  Which is a bit sad in a ‘time flies’ sort of way.  I don’t feel that I’ve posted that much on here, some 40 odd entries and much of that Sherlock fan fiction chapters.  I have so much more I could post that I don’t.  I suppose I’ve never been all that dedicated to anything at all, at least not on the long term.

I should be working on a book I could actually publish in a get-paid capacity.  I think I have a NaNo project I could really fix up.  I rather tell myself that it will be my April Camp NaNoWriMo project, but I’m lazy and vague about it.  (Of course I am.)  I’ve been lazy and vague about it all since college — I think I lost much of the shiny naïvety that thought I could really publish and be a writer.  It was replaced with a certain amount of so-called “realism” and the need for “marketable” skills.  Some of that is good, and some of that is bad.  I think I hear too much of the bad in my head.

Yeah, frick, sorry, that’s all depressing.  I hope no one read that :)   I’ve gotten to a point where I’ve screwed up a lot of things and nothing much good has come to fruition and I’m feeling a little hopeless.  Been burying myself in my Sherlock pieces but that is only a band-aid, a distraction, a way to hide from the shitstorm that is brewing.

Damnit, still whining.  That won’t solve anything.  Figure out a plan!  Go forth with plan!  Solve problems!  :)   When on earth did something as innocuous as a Happy Anniversary from WordPress become as unwelcome as a post-40 birthday?

PS. Bright side, I did add a chapter onto my Wanderer story on AO3, even though I swore up and down it was going to be a one-shot.  There will likely be more, too.  I also updated my Sherlock and the Huntsman story, and have also been posting it on ff.net, after a month of the above crap plus a toothache.  I got through the aphrodisiac chapter on Regency Sherlock (Lazarus Machine, I know, but I still think of it in my head as RS) last weekend, so that was exciting, and I have part of the next chapter written up.  So I have at least been creative and busy.  Yay! :/

 
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Posted by on March 23, 2013 in Uncategorized

 
 
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