What skills do you bring to the apocalypse?!

06 Aug

I’ve been thinking lately about that school assignment we all got, where the world is going to end and you can only save 7 people (or ten, or five, or twenty).  You have to pick people to save in your little pod, bunker or spaceship filled with food and oxygen, and by doing, pick people to die a horrible, gruesome death outside in the barren landscape, flood, or zombie-overrun desolation.  Do you pick the pregnant woman because she is a proven reproducer and you’ll eventually need to repopulate the planet?  Or do you not pick her because the baby will take up an extra person’s oxygen or otherwise be a liability?  Do you take the historian, so you can preserve the history of all those who came before you?  Do you pick only young people even though they might not have the experience of survival like the old farmer?  Do you pick the engineer, the politician, the grocery store clerk, the athlete, the doctor?  (Hint, bring the doctor, especially if he is Hawkeye Pierce.  That man is awesome under pressure.)

I the politician was the first crossed off most of our lists.  Useless smarmy bastards.  We’ll learn to mediate our differences on our own without some more-equal-than-others bastard lousing up our new utopia.

Where does the erotica writer rate there, or any writer for that matter?  This is not a self-condemnation.  No, I’d rate myself fairly high.  Writers know a little bit about a lot of things.  I could write a passable brief history of the human race (because who will be around to contradict my version of things?).  Moreover, I hold porn to be an important part of the apocalyptic future.

Why?  In some cases of apocalypse, sex could be dangerous, distracting, and the resultant jealousies could destroy the group.  Pregnancy could be deadly, beyond just the giving birth in squalid circumstances possibility.  It’s hard to waddle away from a zombie horde, after all.  If there is only so much oxygen on a space vessel, a boom of children would suck down all that air long before we’d reach another livable planet.  Erotica could be a more excellent birth control than the dwindling supply of condoms that will disintegrate as time goes on.

We may eventually want to repopulate the world, but porn could help us control when.

I was glad my draft auto-saved, because of course, when I hit Publish, my IE froze.  Bleh.

Leave a comment

Posted by on August 6, 2012 in Uncategorized


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: