I’m aware that in the Northern Hemisphere, autumn is approaching. However, I feel in a bit of my soul like I need a good spring cleaning. And it isn’t just because everything in the apartment has a layer of dust on it. I need a massive overhaul in my life, even if I’m being dragged kicking and screaming towards making those changes.
Unfortunately, I feel restless and unfocused. It’s that feeling one gets when there is so much to be done that one cannot figure out where to start. All too often, this is decided by procrastinating until there is little choice but to do unpleasant things. Or, like something I read about procrastination once, you simply get other things done instead. I should digging through my files for my work history details, but I am doing dishes or laundry. I should be applying for jobs, but I’m dusting and vacuuming. I should be writing on Lazarus Machine, but instead I’m writing a random one-shot that popped into my head the other day for Experiments in Warmth.
And then sometimes it all gets to me, the merciless heat, the ache in my feet and legs from work, the sinus headache from fall allergies, the overwhelming stress of every financial worry and I end up sick and nauseated and capable of little else but putting Star Trek Voyager on Netflix and dozing in a chair with the A/C on for most of an afternoon. That was Monday.
Yesterday and today were better. I’ve been trying to keep cool and get sleep and stay hydrated until the heat breaks. I applied for a job today, which just seems to take a ridiculously long time, honestly. I rather wish there was just some sort of official job application that you filled out once, photocopied, and sent to any employer. And no, I don’t mean a resume, because you typically have to have one of those, too. What I suppose I find most frustrating is that you have to detail all this work history, and I’ve been in my job for sixteen years. This means that any other jobs I put down besides my current one are – cleaning jobs I had after school and summers during high school and college. It seems pointless to even mention them. I also don’t have any idea who my supervisors were, what wage I made (it was the mid 90s, so it was probably, what $4.25 an hour? I have no idea) and it seems pointless to say that they can contact these employers because it’s not like anyone in the building will remember me and it would be a bit of a pain for them to have to search their files for proof I worked there anyway. As if the HR person would check 17-year-old work history anyway.
So if it seems pathetic that applying for a single job is rather exhausting, well, yes, it is. 🙂 I’ve slowly been gathering together information all in one place so that as I fill things out, I can just refer back to a single file of that information. Hopefully that will make it easier. But I still feel it may count against me that some things are left incomplete on my applications. And knowing how many applications are out there for each job, how do I keep from letting each little thing from harming my chances?