A little stool in every room…

24 Oct

So I’m just killing time (and I’m a prolific murder of time) and so I stopped by the ongoing Russian translation of Lazarus Machine to look at the comments.  The translation is currently on chapter 27, just around the wedding. if you’re interested.  I view it through Chrome, which will automatically translate the page (thought it comes out mostly unintelligible).  I like to look at the comments, just as I like to look at the comments on any of my other posted sites.

At times, the comments cannot even seem to translate properly, in the case of my favorite reference to umnichka John.  Looking it up separately, it’s a term meaning clever, in an endearing way.  Makes me melt.  Today, the thing that made me laugh was the translator replying to a comment made about the line where John is too short to kiss Sherlock without Sherlock’s assistance.  She said that (cleaning up for the choppy translation) John would have to put a little stool in every room so he could more easily kiss his husband.  Awwww.  LOL.

Anyway, I’m killing time I could be spending either job hunting or writing new chapters.  I feel past the hysterical sobbing stage of my depression and have passed into the utterly lethargic stage.  I did manage to write and post a chapter of the completely episodic series Experiments in Warmth within the last couple of weeks, and have one more chapter in that series done but for a paranoid series of adjustments I can’t stop making.  I was doing that with the chapter I posted, never feeling it was done, never feeling it was as good as it could be.  Every final pass I made changed things, then again, then again, and I finally posted it so I would stop torturing it.

Right now I have a couple hours before having to get ready for work, and several years of NaNoWriMo have shown me how much I can accomplish in a mere couple of hours, but I’m still having a hard time settling down to it.  I suppose part of the problem is my weakness with plot and, while I do know in a general sense what is going to happen through to the end of the story (stories) I’m not quite sure what happens in detail.  I find indecision rather plaguing.  So until I make the decision, I avoid it.  Which is a useless circle, really, since the more I avoid it, the further I get from the story in my mind.

I don’t want to be the writer who dries up for months and months, only to abandon the work entirely.  I want to finish.  The same problem applies to John’s Gamble, which I had originally said I didn’t even want to post until it was nearly done or done, and which now languishes in the same cesspool of depression as everything else, half-finished.

I’m hoping that NaNoWriMo invigorates me, but I’m just not certain this year that it will.  I’m still not certain what I want to do, with little over a week to figure it out.  Last year I started late and did not finish because of indecision.  I hate to think the same will apply here.  I suppose, though, I need one good thing to set me on a happy mental path rather than this spiraling doom I feel when I think of current events in my life.

Before I forget, I did stumble upon a delightfully apt Sherlock crossover fic with Neil Gaiman’s Fortunately the Milk, the very existence of which made me chortle with glee.  🙂  So I suppose the world is not all bad.


Posted by on October 24, 2013 in depression, Writings


Tags: , , , , , , , ,

3 responses to “A little stool in every room…

  1. darkwood

    November 8, 2013 at 6:21 pm

    I know this is a bit late of a reply to this, and you may not be in a mood where you want any sort of input. I hate that feeling of writer’s block when it comes to things. (I’m suffering a bit of that back and forth on a rather lengthy DA2 story I’m writing from a prompt. I know where I want it to go, I just… getting through some of the necessary pieces to roll towards the end proves itself monstrously tedious at times. Normally I like action in my pieces but I was worrying about the pacing because of the number of parts I was having to put up on that particular website and… ugh. Let’s just say yes to that one, mm?)

    I have found that sometimes when I get to the land of writer’s block – I think of it like facing the Sahara when you’re just trying to make it up to Italy from the Congo – it’s because of something specific that I don’t feel like writing or that I am getting stuck on. Is it one of those scenarios, or are you just drawing a blank on the story in general? Not that I know what will work for yours, but sometimes I have to give myself a treat by writing a section (or piece of section) that I’ve been _dying_ to write, just to get the juices flowing.

    I hope you are feeling a little better, and that you’ve found some direction for your NaNo. I really love what you are doing with Lazarus Machine, it inspired me to try my hand at NaNoWriMo this year.

    And rather than descend into useless fan drabble, I’ll end there with well wishes and hope/support.

    Well. And this. (Because honestly, I couldn’t *not* draw this. Really, the staging in that section was marvelous.)

    • kelouisa

      November 8, 2013 at 11:52 pm

      I really do appreciate the advice and the drawing. They made my (unexpectedly) internet-deprived day much brighter. 🙂

      Good luck with NaNoWriMo. As I haven’t written a single word as of yet, I suppose I’m not participating this year. It’s just too much for me right now. Which is a shame, because it’s great fun and it feels good to have the support of others.

      Thanks again 🙂

      • darkwood

        November 9, 2013 at 5:55 am

        I’m glad you liked it. 😀

        And thanks for the encouragement. My word count is “ahead”, but I got nothing put down yesterday in a random fit of music-inspired mania.

        You wouldn’t have to do an “official” NaNo, you know. You could just set a goal to meet and plug yourself into the atmosphere. It might help. A couple people joined after I said I was going to, without doing any planning, and they are struggling with Word Counts. I’ve held off on mentioning anything to them about it so far, but as we’re hitting day 10 and they should be at least 16K in, I’m going to give them the same advice this weekend. Have any goal and meet it rather than getting overwhelmed by the 50K thing.

        You’re welcome, of course. Anytime. 😀


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